March 7th 2013

Posted on March 8, 2014 by ghostwritermummy

March 7th 2013

On this day I stood beside a wonderful woman. I stood on shaking legs.

On this day I spoke words that had come from the heart of a grieving mother. I spoke words laced with pain, anger and grief. Pure, utter grief. I listened to words dripping with love and pain and I heard sobs reverberate around the tiny church.

On this day I watched a father carry a tiny little coffin in his arms. The weight of the universe in his hands. In his heart.

On this day I watched a mother move behind the coffin of her baby girl. I watched her being carried through pain and grief.

Those are images I will never, ever forget. And for a long time I wish I had not looked. I wish I had kept my head down and saved myself from the images that often return to me when I’m not expecting it.

But I did not.

I did not look away. I did not turn away. I did not leave. I did not run- how I wanted to!- and I did not hide from the horror of SIDS. I could not.

One week ago I stood once more with that wonderful woman and I spoke our own words. Again, laced with pain and with fear. These are the words. We tried to explain what it was like when a friend’s baby dies.

One week ago I watched a father read words in his daughter’s memory. The weight of the universe in his hands.

One week ago I watched a mother read also- strengthened by the love of her precious Matilda Mae. I watched the grief and the anger pour from her body and disappear into the love that reverberated around the tiny church.

And I listened to words that made so much sense to me. Words about grief and the way it cycles and the way that we embrace it into our lives.

Grief is a lot of things. It is selfish. It is angry. It is relentless. It is never-ending. It is furious. It is ungrateful. It is determined to take you and to break you.

But it is not shameful.

We all grieve for different things and in different ways and that is ok.

It is ok.

We grieve because we have loved. We remember because we have loved. We live, because we love.

5 easy crafty activities for non-crafty parents

Posted on March 7, 2014 by ghostwritermummy

Before I had kids, I wouldn’t have really called myself a ‘crafty’ person, but actually that’s not true. I learnt to knit at a young age, I can sew and I like making things with my hands. Plus, I made three kids. That’s crafty, right? So in honour of my craftiness, I thought I would collate the few crafty posts I have on here, and perhaps it will inspire us to do a little more. So here they are- my five crafty projects for non-crafty parents. You’re welcome!

First up: I made a tree for my classroom. Back when I was teaching, we had a behaviour policy in the infants that involved a Thinking Tree. The idea was that the kids would go and sit under the tree and think about what they had done and what consequences were likely to occur following behaviour that wasn’t allowed in school. But I wanted my tree to be more than that. A class project. Something quite wonderful to look at when you entered the classroom. I wanted my tree to filter into lots of lessons and be a labour of love. And it was! I left for maternity leave after the first term after the tree was made and often wonder what happened to my tree… I might make another one.

The dinosaur table! Seeing as he is such a massive dinosaur fan, I wanted to provide The Preschooler with a bit of a landscape to play on. This was a really simple project that took no time at all and the result was really effective. The boulders were made from baked cotton wool balls (recipe here) and all that was required after the rest was a bit of imagination. We have plenty of that!

We also made a busy fence. This was a really fun project, inspired by lots of the busy boards I’d seen on Pinterest. The idea is to provide little hands with lots of different handles and buttons and fiddly bits to fiddle with and I wanted to take the activity outside. So I popped it all on the fence. So easy to do and such a great little alternative for the garden too.

Saltdough! We went a little saltdough crazy over Christmas, simply because it is SO easy to do. If you haven’t made any yet, I urge you to do so. Our saltdough beads are used so regularly in lots of our play and we plan to make more shapes soon. Stay tuned!

We’ve also made a solar system. Oh, yes. We used polysytrene shapes, glue and tissue paper. And it still hangs from the playroom and it is still awesome. Try it.

*You don’t have to, or anything, but if you wanted to nominate me in the MAD blog awards in the Family Fun category, the Ghostwritermummy household would be over the moon! We’ve already been nominated but we need more! Click on the badge and take a look…

The Gruffalo eats owl ice cream… sensory play (and a review for Joker’s Masquerade)

Posted on March 5, 2014 by ghostwritermummy

We were recently sent a super Gruffao costume from the wonderful people at Joker’s Masquerade and it couldn’t have come at a better time with World Book Day tomorrow! The Preschooler spent a long time perusing all of the costumes for World Book Day but it was The Gruffalo we both loved the most. This has been a family favourite book for many years and I was looking forward to having a whole day dedicated to the story- so that’s what we did!

First of all I have to let you know how impressed we were with the costume itself. The fabric is very plush and thick and fastens at the back with velcro which has been well stitched. Sometimes kids costumed can be a little cheaply made but that is certainly not the case here. And there is no denying it looks like the Gruffalo! Purple prickles are intact and knees were certainly knobbly!

After lunch we read our copy of The Gruffalo to re-familarise ourselves with the story. I had already set up the tuff spot with the mirror insert and spread some of our play mud over the surface. I then added some of our flour, oats and lentils mix to make the floor of the forest. Then we talked about the animals that appear in the story, reciting the bits we could remember from the book. We had our mouse with his nut, our fox and his underground house, our owl in his treetop nest and our snake with the logpile house all set and ready to play!

Then we needed a gruffalo to play with too! We cut felt shapes and used lentils and pieces of wood chips for the teeth and tusks. I think The Preschooler did a really good job and this was a great practise for those all important fine motor skills!

The Preschooler loved playing with this Gruffalo themed sensory tray. Together, we talked about the story and recited it in sequence, using the animals and props to help us. We also talked about the rhyming words in the story and The Preschooler impressed me with his knowledge of rhyming pairs. Mostly though, he was happy to just play. This proved to be a really imaginative session and it was lovely to leave him to it for a while.

Eventually though I could see his mind begin to wander so I set him a challenge. Could he write the word fox?Well, of course he could!

After several rounds of applause, The Preschooler and I decided that every hard working Gruffalo deserved a treat… so owl ice cream it was!

We LOVE the Gruffalo costume, and as you can see we had great fun testing it out. After almost a full day’s use you can barely tell it’s been worn and it’s ready for World Book Day tomorrow. I think that dressing up is such an important part of play for young children because it helps to spark imagination and fuels the fun. Costumes that are linked to book characters are a wonderful way of reinforcing stories too- a big thumbs up from us. I’ll leave you with The Preschooler’s Gruffalo song… It’s NOT me singing by the way!

Happiness makes you cry

Posted on February 28, 2014 by ghostwritermummy

This has been a tough, tough week. I know that it’s not been as tough as for some, and I know that I really don’t have a lot to complain about it when you zoom out and look at the bigger picture for a moment. But when you’re stuck there in your little bubble and that little bubble is closing in and pressing and suffocating and forcing you to be the person you always said you wouldn’t be… its hard to maintain perspective sometimes.

But the kids always bring you back to earth with a gentle bump, don’t they?

After a week of difficult mornings with The Preschooler- he misses his dad, he doesn’t want to go to Preschool, he doesn’t know how to put his shoes on, he didn’t really PUSH his sister, he only wants to eat one more slice of toast before he brushes his teeth, he wants to cuddle while you brush your teeth, he doesn’t want to sit in the car today, he has forgotten how to walk…) I’ve spent much of the school run in tears this week.

Frustration. Anger. Loneliness. Exhaustion.

And not just for me, I might add.

Then yesterday, on the way to Preschool, a song came on and a little voice piped up:

“I like this song, Mummy. This man’s voice sounds nice and makes me happy.”

And I smiled. How could I not?

Happiness makes you cry

My son likes The Flaming Lips. My son is one in a million. He is a little firesome ball of contradictions and huge emotion and I love him for that. Yep, hard work, but oh so totally worth it.

* Thank you to Heather for the photo, and for her friendship this week. Also thank you to Lisa and Chelle who have also been amazing this week x x x