Big up the single mummies!

Last week was a difficult week for many reasons, namely the fact that I found myself in a solitary position for many an important occasion and feeling a little like  a single parent. Not for one minute would I like to even attempt to claim that I know how it feels to be a single parent because I don’t and I know that I am very lucky to have an occasionally absent husband. It’s just that when he is absent, I feel it like a truck has hit the house, scattered clean and dirty washing all the over the spare room, emptied the toys over the living room floor and turned my kids into non-eating, non-sleeping machines of terror. 

Last week I tackled a nativity performance, a hospital appointment, a late train, two works dos and one football training session. It’s a lot in one week, I think. My the time the baby was throwing up on Thursday night I found myself asking P whose turn it was to take time off work to care for him. It was his!

Venturing out to work on limited sleep is never easy but when you have left the shackles of domesticity behind- and a puking baby- it is certainly a little easier to bear. I felt I deserved to go out to work and leave a little of my responsibilities with P- after all, he had been absent for so much this week. It got me thinking though, have I any right to feel so angry when my husband is not home to share in the care of our children? Perhaps I did, but what about the millions of single mummies who do exactly the same, EVERY day without the option of going to work when the baby is sick, knowing they are in good hands with Daddy?

Wow. Being a single mummy is not easy. My own sister did it for nearly ten years, on the other side of the world and with only limited support from back home- we did what we could but Sydney is a long way away. at the end of it all I have nothing but respect for the mums- and dads- who go it alone for their kids. My own mum was on her own with three of us for a period, my step-dad on his own with one.

 I hope it never happens to me; I’ve come to realise just how much I rely on P. Although, I do hope that he has finished gallivanting about for one year. Its nice when his dinner doesn’t get burnt.

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6 Comments

  1. December 20, 2010 / 2:10 pm

    They are indeed (tired) superheros, a good point. Lovely blog, just found you via blog hop!

  2. December 20, 2010 / 2:47 pm

    Yeah I don’t know how single mums do it – they are amazing. I know when my husband goes away I miss him because he is disciplined and I’m not and the kids go to bed WAY too late and things generally go to hell in a handbasket!

  3. December 20, 2010 / 6:37 pm

    It really does make me realise when my husband is away how hard it must be. My sister is a single mother of two kids and also works full time – I have nothing but admiration for her.

  4. December 21, 2010 / 3:18 pm

    Great blog and so true. Single mothers are incredible.

  5. February 16, 2011 / 6:02 pm

    It is amazing to me when people say “I don’t know how you do it”. I always reply back “I don’t know any different and neither does my son”. I went into this life adventure knowing I was going to be a single parent and knowing that this is what I desperately wanted and needed in my life. For me I can’t imagine anything different. I would find it difficult if I was used to having a daily support and then thrown to the wolves to go it alone. It puts a huge change into your daily sense of control and understanding.

    I imagine that, like anything in life, you get into a routine and find what works for you at that time. For my family unit, there is my now 3 year old, our 5 year old dog and myself. We have our routine, albeit much more flexible than I was pre-baby, but it is our routine…it is our day…it is our happiness.

    Many mommies now adays tell me they would never take their child to the grocery store or to get their hair done and can’t imagine how I can manage it. But funny enough, we have a lot of fun on our adventures. My son has learned to adapt to me just as much as I have adapted to having a child. It is a learning experience for all involved and aren’t we all better for it.

    We laugh and cry together every day…and I love every second of it.

    • February 16, 2011 / 8:01 pm

      What a lovely comment! I totally understand what you mean, when you have known nothing else then how can you envy another life? Why woudl you want it any different if you are so happy?
      XxX

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