On this day, when my life changed forever, the sun was warm and the air was fresh. I held a tiny person in my arms and became a mother, just like that.
Its hard to believe that was seven years ago. In the early hours of this morning, returning to bed for the umpteenth time and sinking under the covers, I caught sight of the time and saw that it was 2 am. My world stopped a tiny little bit then.
She was born at 2 am, taken from my body with squeals of protest and indignation. She cried and cried, her wails nothing more than the mewls of a kitten. Before that, they had placed her head on my abdomen as they made attempts to remove the rest of her from my body. I felt nothing, just the slight weight of a new life.
She cried as they stitched me, pushing and pulling and mending my broken body as they chatted and weighed and laughed as she took her first wee all over the midwife. She cried as my husband held her tentatively, big hands around her tiny, wrapped-up body. She cried as they announced all was well and she was healthy. Nothing wrong with her lungs. Apgar score all good. Breathing well. No further signs of distress. Surgery went well. Mum off to recovery.
She cried as they held her towards me to say hello and her tiny eyes were scrunched like rose buds, waiting to open when the time is right. She cried as they finished and insisted I held her.
I felt a tiny moment of panic. This is it. This is the moment I actually become a mother. Funny how nine and a bit months of pregnancy just cannot prepare you for this moment. When you meet your child and your life changes forever.
Your life changes forever.
She cried as she was handed to me and I took her with greedy and needy hands. I held her to me and looked down at her face. I watched her eyes open and her bottom lip quiver. She was silent.
We were both silent as she looked at me and I looked at her and I thought to myself that I would remember this moment for the rest of my life- how she looked, how she smelled and how she felt in my arms. She stopped crying so that my tears could flow.
On this day, when my life changed forever.
Happy birthday Eva XxX