I wasn’t going to blog about this. I wasn’t even going to mention this to anyone, in fact, but luckily I came to my senses. I remembered my social responsibility. I’ll tell it straight.
Yesterday my son and I saw a father grab his son by the scruff of his neck and throw him into his car.
My first thought, since it happened so quickly and the father and son drove away before it really registered, was that I hope none of the kids had seen it. I mean, my kids. When we got inside though, my son clung to my leg and refused to enter the room. He buried his face into my skirt and refused to look at anyone. Peeling him away to say goodbye, I kissed him, hugged him and kissed him again. He asked me what’s the matter with that daddy?
This is a question that I have been mulling over all day. Along with: should I mention this? Is it any of my business? Is the little boy ok?
When I picked my son up later, I was told that he had been very unsettled for a while after I’d left. I relayed what we’d seen. But I still wondered whether it was any of my business.
I do not handle my children in this way. I have never seen fear on my children’s faces like I saw on that boy’s. It is my business. It’s my social responsibility.
Had I had time, would I have confronted this father? Would I have told him he was out of order and to leave the child alone? Shoving, pushing and grabbing…it’s not smacking, or hitting…but it’s still an adult exerting physical aggression over a child. More than this, my own son was very upset by it too.
Without wanting to start a debate over smacking- I don’t agree with it at all but I also don’t want to lecture anybody on how they should or should not parent their own children- what I witnessed yesterday was awful. I saw a frightened child being bullied by an adult. So I have reported it. Right or wrong? What do you think? Is it our social responsibility or should we mind our own businesses?
Right thing, definitely. Well done. It’s not at all easy knowing what to do in these situations (for what it’s worth I also think you did the right thing not getting involved at the time given that you had your own family with you) but always, always better to err on the side of caution and report if something has made you feel uncomfortable. If that father thought it was okay to do that in public he may think it is okay to do even more aggressive things in private, so you absolutely did the right thing.
Hope your son settles down soon and isn’t affected by it for too long xx
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It is so hard to know what to do – I would worry that to partially intervene could risk making things worse for that child afterwards. This is an excellent post in raising the issue of the violence of others towards children. I think if there is a way of making sure potential abuse is monitored, when you can, you really should (and this serves as a good reminder of why). But this wasn’t ever such a case. It is so sad that people can even do this in public – like you, I don’t want to disapprove of people when I have no idea of the pressures they face and the beliefs with which they were raised, but I would love for our attitude towards the young to change.
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I think you did the right thing by reporting this. What you saw happened in public, you might never know what happens behind closed doors but hopefully your report will ensure that social services (or the school) are looking out for this boy & and brothers or sisters he may have. Well done for doing your bit to protect a child.
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