Three days after Matilda Mae was found sleeping, my health visitor came to the house to see us. I greeted her with tears staining my cheeks, my baby clutched tightly in my arms and may heart lying in pieces by my feet. She listened as I tried to explain what had happened but she didn’t really understand why I was so upset when I told her I had never actually met Jennie, or her precious daughter. But she did offer me some advice. She told me to get in touch, to reach out and to let it be known that I was there for her. She insisted that there was nothing I could say that would make the situation any worse.
On the 7th March Heather and I stood in a tiny church that was filled with pink and purple. We stood, by a tiny woollen coffin, and we read a tribute to Matilda. Words spilled from another grieving heart, another lost mother. Tears. Promises. Friendship.
On the 11th May Heather and I met with more new friends to walk a mile in memory of Matilda Mae. We walked through the rain as pink and purple balloons swayed in the wind and bubbles travelled into the clouds.
And what does this have to do with Brit Mums Live 2013?
On 21st June I met Jennie in London and we walked into Brit Mums Live together. We laughed, we cried and we talked. More new friends. More powerful words. More memories. And that journey of friendship grew more foundations.
Like a mirror of Tilda’s goodbye, Heather and I stood and once more read Merry’s beautiful words. We paid tribute to Freddie and to Matilda Mae and we spoke of this amazing community of ours. How I made myself leave my seat and walk up to that stage I will never, ever know. But I did. We did. And here is the photo (courtesty of the lovely My Two Mums) to prove it.
People who know me know that I am not a public speaker. I am not ok with standing on stages, in front of microphones and in front of hundreds of people. People who met me that day know that I could not talk to them without crying. But this is my journey. It is taking me to places I never knew I could go to, but most importantly it is bringing friends along with me.
I am so proud and so honoured to call these ladies friends. They know who they are. They know how special they are. And they know they are on this journey with me forever.