Today I went shopping. Nowhere glamorous and with no real money in my purse. I only wanted one thing and yet I knew that one thing would not come easily. It never does. And as I stood before the mirror, wondering whether what I was trying on actually looked any good or not, my children (my daughters) happily chatted behind me. I took this photo. Not something I usually do, but I honestly was not sure about what I was wearing.
My waist is too high and my hips are too wide. My arms sometimes look like twigs and stomach doesn’t lie flat like it used to.
I don’t have a new body. I have this one. It’s almost 36 years old and it hasn’t always been loved. In fact, it’s been loathed at times. It’s been the wrong shape. It’s been useless. It’s failed me. It’s let me down. But it’s mine.
And although it’s done all those things, I guess it has done a whole lot more too.
It’s carried three children.
It should have carried more.
It’s laboured three times.
And fell at the last hurdle.
It’s fed three babies.
It’s leapt from a plane!
It’s not a new body, and I can’t say honestly that I still wouldn’t trade it for a better, more swishy model. But these last couple of days have made me think.
I don’t have the perfect body. I hate my hips and I really hate my feet. I always hide my stomach and I rarely get my legs out. But at least I don’t have the world’s media telling me about all of the things that are wrong with me. And yes, I know I didn’t sign up for any of that and so those who did should have known that it would happen. But even if I had married into the world’s most famous family and agreed to birth the world’s most famous baby- even then, I would still deserve a little time. Not a new body, just some time.
When you have a baby, SO much is unsure. Your body doesn’t work in quite the same way as it did before. There are noticeable changes that take place because you grew another person inside of you. And isn’t that what we should be thinking about? Coming home from the hospital should be momentous because you have your baby and you are looking forward to welcoming that baby into your home, into your life. It should not mark the start of a weight loss regime to get a new body.
Who wants a new body? I’ve got one and sometimes I think it’s ok.