Today a letter from the lovely Alyson, @Alysonsblog
I know I never got the pleasure to see your beautiful face in person, but I know how your mummy and daddy reveled in your beauty inside and out. I will never know how your magical perfect weight felt when you rested your head on your mummy’s shoulder that made mummy sink further into her chair for a few more moments of precious cuddles. I may never have heard your giggles in person but I can almost hear them as I see the pictures your mummy shares with us with your smiling face gazing at her with such love. I may not have ever experienced any of this in person but I know it to be true by the way your mummy talks about you, explaining how magical every day was with you in it.
How wonderful it might have been to meet you Matilda, to see your mummy laugh with her whole heart, smile with her whole face, complete in her beautiful family of five. It was often all too easy for me to be a very busy mummy, too wrapped up in stuff to miss the everyday moments that make up a life, rushed hugs and quick squeezes, dashing through bedtime, half smiles and short tempers. You changed all that.
I’m now making the most of every moment that I am gifted to have with my children and that’s your personal legacy to me, this is my Matilda Mae Mantra, slow down, take time, make it matter. Your mummy and daddy have blessed us with stories and images of your short but wonderful life and whilst your physical presence may no longer be with us you are still present in our lives, in daily conversation, in photographs and kept alive in your families heart. I see you everywhere, I hear your name and I smile, the books on my shelf sing your name and my children and I look up to the sky and see Matilda stars. When your mummy and daddy sent you on your way in a little boat you joined the sea, and now when we go to sail in our boat, we sail it on Matilda sea. We even dance in Matilda rain, you are everywhere precious girl and we smile at the sound of your name.
Your mummy has missed you more than you can ever imagine, she has felt the depths of your loss and opened her arms wide to allow others to walk alongside her through her darkest times. She is slowly and gently finding her way, but this is a path she never chose to tread. But she treads it with grace and dignity and I know you would be so proud. You were such a gift to your family and now you are a gift to the World, your name and memory is raising money, helping others and can never ever forgotten. It is etched into the hearts of all those who have been touched by your journey. Always in our hearts
Alyson and family x
I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart) I am never without it (anywhere I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling) I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)I want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true) and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)” ― E.E. Cummings