So today I am 14 weeks and five days pregnant. From last Saturday onwards, we have been telling the world our news. You can see our little announcement here and you can read all of my previous updates here too. I’ve been blogging this journey since I was 6 weeks pregnant, and now I am able to set the posts to public. I’ll apologise now for the really moany ones. My morning sickness has been vile this time.
And while we’re on the subject… something on Twitter caught my eye today. It is Hyperemesis Gravidarum awareness day today. You may have seen some tweets with the hashtag #HGAware and you may have seen the 2014 awareness video too.
When I was 6 weeks pregnant I went to see my GP after a weekend of vomiting and a couple of weeks gripped with constant, raging nausea. It hurt to walk. Drinking water was impossible. My entire body ached and my head throbbed. My GP was one of the first people to know I was pregnant, and asked me more than once if it was good news. How could someone as miserable I was feeling right then possibly be happy? It was a terrible question but he obviously felt it was necessary. It was quickly decided that I was dehydrated and medication was prescribed so that I could try and claw back some resemblance of life.
For the next two weeks, I literally dragged myself through the days. I discovered, to my utmost despair, that the tablets I’d been prescribed made me feel drowsy and nauseous, so I could only take them at bedtime. With a husband that works away, I was- and still am- the only person available to my kids. I had to be ‘there’ as much as possible. Most days were spent just getting through until 7.30 when I could collapse into bed.
A medication change soon after meant that the vomiting stopped but the nausea stayed. I am still not sure what is worse; sometimes being sick can almost be a relief when you feel so ill.
But I am lucky. I watched that video today with tears rolling down my cheeks. How lucky I am to have a GP that believes in prevention rather than cure. A GP who would rather prescribe medication than see me admitted to hospital with dehydration. A GP who listened as I told him that I had no choice- I could not rest and I could not find another way to get through. There have been times that I even wished this pregnancy was not so; I think my GP realised that.
Today is HG awareness day and I am new to all of this. I am a fraud in many ways as I have not suffered anywhere near as much as some of the brave ladies in that video. I just wanted to raise a little awareness and try to explain how truly awful some days have been. Not many people know how ill I’ve been or how much it has affected my life so far. I am only just beginning to emerge from the haze; time spent outside of the house is not no so frightening, but I have to stay close to home. This is the reason why I will not be able to go to Brit Mums this year, and why I cannot make the Baby Tilda Barn Dance. The latter is extremely upsetting for me. Jennie and I spoke of organising this event almost a year ago and to not be there to see it is something I will never forget. But I have to do this. Travel sickness is a new thing for me; being up past 8pm is now impossible. But I know it will not last long and, as symptoms are already much better than they were two weeks ago, I am trying to do all that I can to ease it all.
It is hard to imagine how a baby grows and develops when you feel so terrible, but it does. The poppy seed is now the size of a lemon. Movements are developing nicely and if I concentrate really hard, and keep still, I can feel them with certainty. Intestines are developing, hair is growing on the body which will soon be replaced with fat. All of this happening while I am feel less than human.
And over the last week or so general bloating seems to have diminished; I am sure my ‘bump’ is smaller this week than last!