Return of The Bump: 18 weeks pregnant

Today I am 18 weeks and 5 days pregnant with baby number 4 and yesterday I heard the heartbeat for the first time. I won’t lie- it was a huge relief!

Having felt movement as early as 11 weeks, I’m ashamed to say that since then, I’ve been too busy to notice any more than the very very odd movement. And then the midwife asks if I’m feeling movements and suddenly I’m not sure. I was, I think, but I’m not now. And I know that the medication I’m taking for sickness can cause the stomach to ‘jump’ so perhaps those were the movements I’ve been feeling all along? And then the mind starts to whir.

Iย know that the baby was alive at 13 weeks because I saw the heart beating firmly at the dating scan. I know that all was well then. But I know nothing more. And either I have been a terrible mother-to-be and allowed myself to be so busy that I simply have not noticed any movements, or something entirely worse has happened. Why hadn’t I taken time to sit and connect with my bump? Why, when for the first time this morning the children asked to feel the bump and talk to the baby, had I not encourage this weeks before? To take a moment to sit, and let the children ask questions, be involved, was lovely. To not have somewhere to be or something to do. Of course, it lasted only minutes but it was a chance to stop for a moment. Perhaps I should have been doing this all along?

Return of the Bump 18 weeks and connecting with bump~ ghostwritermummy.co.uk.jpg

My midwife is fantastic. She asked me if I wanted her to try and listen for a heartbeat, advising me that sometimes 18 weeks is too early. She was concerned that I would become upset if she couldn’t find it at this stage, but I wanted her to try. I wanted a moment to focus.

And straight away, a clear and strong beating filled the room. Filled my heart. How I wished I had recorded it, like I had promised I would. But in the momentary panic, I had not even thought of doing that.

But the heartbeat was there, and in two weeks we get to see the poppy seed once more at the anomaly scan.

This week the poppy seed is the size of a slightly better sounding sweet potato. This makes me smile, and makes me think of Jennie. She’ll know what I mean. I’m being warned of potential back pain today, but luckily I have none. I am still doing daily Pilates and swimming three times a week in preparation for- hopefully- my VBA3C and I truly think that is helping a lot. I am being told that my baby should be kicking and twisting and turning and that I should be able to feel this. I will. I will not panic. I will feel it.

The poppyseed can yawn, and hiccup, and now has unique finger and toe prints. Unique.

And me? I am feeling a million times better. I am sleeping better, I am eating well and the sickness is really starting to abate now. I am still taking the medication- too scared to stop right now- but I am well.

Return of the Bump: 18 weeks~ ghostwritermummy.co.uk

 

Mother's Always Right

44 Comments

  1. June 13, 2014 / 10:38 am

    Ahhhhh I LOVED the moment of hearing Zs heartbeat for the first time. It was nerve wracking, just in case, then an exhilarated relief. In my head I keep thinking Poppy would be a really lovely name for your baby now (even though no one quite knows the gender yet! :D)
    Notmyyearoff recently posted..Silent Sunday / Project 52 – Week 23My Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      June 13, 2014 / 11:13 am

      Ah I love that name! I am convinced that its a boy though, due to all the sickness! We shall have to wait and see ๐Ÿ™‚
      xx

  2. June 13, 2014 / 10:43 am

    oh beautiful… all these bumps are making me miss mine sooooooooooooo much. Looking forward to catching up at Britmums ๐Ÿ™‚ xx
    Danni recently posted..Feeding EleanorMy Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      June 13, 2014 / 11:13 am

      Argh! You know I won’t be at Brit Mums? Have just been so poorly that I sold my ticket ๐Ÿ™ We can catch up any time though over the summer?
      x x

      • June 13, 2014 / 11:21 am

        oh nooooo! ๐Ÿ™ I don’t blame you though, you need your rest! We defo need to catch up… I’d love to join you for a messy play session… we are newbs!
        Danni recently posted..Feeding EleanorMy Profile

        • ghostwritermummy
          Author
          June 13, 2014 / 6:19 pm

          Well I’m up for that!
          x x

  3. June 13, 2014 / 11:04 am

    You are looking gorgeous hunny! Glad you’ve taken some time to connect, sometimes life seems such a blur we forget these littles things xxx
    Lisa h recently posted..Father’s Day Gift Guide 2014My Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      June 13, 2014 / 11:14 am

      My life seems to be one long blur at the moment. I think I do need to slow down a little
      x x

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      June 13, 2014 / 6:18 pm

      Thank you!
      x x

  4. June 13, 2014 / 2:13 pm

    Aww very glad to hear that you are feeling better and that you are connecting with your bump ๐Ÿ™‚ Glad the other kids are too! It’s wonderful hearing that heartbeat isn’t it? I just love that sound! xx #blogbumpclub
    Caroline (Becoming a SAHM) recently posted..Clumsy Pregnant Lady!My Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      June 13, 2014 / 6:19 pm

      Me too. Looking forward to catching up with your post this week ๐Ÿ™‚
      x

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      June 14, 2014 / 6:23 pm

      Thank you
      x x x

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      June 14, 2014 / 6:23 pm

      Thank you. Me too!
      x x

  5. June 14, 2014 / 2:39 pm

    Congratulations!! I’m glad you feel like your finally connecting with your bump. It took me a long while to realize i was pregnant, obviously i knew but in my mind i just couldn’t accept it. It’s amazing when you hear the heartbeat for the first time! take care xx
    Steph | stephaniejayne-xo.blogspot.co.uk

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      June 14, 2014 / 6:23 pm

      It is strange at first isn’t it? Hearing the hearbeat really is a turning point for some I think
      x

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      June 14, 2014 / 6:20 pm

      Yay almost half way! I never thought of it like that!
      xx

  6. Catherine (@FrmLittleThings)
    June 14, 2014 / 8:32 pm

    Aww I have to admit this post made me a completely broody!
    With 3 other littlies to keep you busy I think it’s completely understandable. Good luck at your 20 week scan!
    Catherine (@FrmLittleThings) recently posted..Marshmallow Krispie Cake RecipeMy Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      June 17, 2014 / 6:20 am

      Thank you ๐Ÿ™‚
      x x

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      June 17, 2014 / 6:19 am

      Thank you, me too!
      x x

  7. June 15, 2014 / 2:45 pm

    There is something so exciting and a huge sense of relief in hearing your babies heart beat isn’t there. Glad you are feeling better now, definitely a bump appearing now ๐Ÿ™‚ x
    Danielle Askins recently posted..Siblings in JuneMy Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      June 17, 2014 / 6:19 am

      Yes! Such an enormous relief, on both counts!
      x x

  8. June 15, 2014 / 6:39 pm

    It took me much longer to connect with this bump, I think the sickness really puts a halt to that and I am so glad it is easing off for you.

    I love our daily bump chats and sharing photos too ๐Ÿ™‚
    Chelle recently posted..#SilentSundayMy Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      June 17, 2014 / 6:19 am

      Aw I love our bump chats too, and no doubt we will soon be having late night feed chats too! ๐Ÿ˜€
      x x x

  9. June 16, 2014 / 9:08 am

    So glad to hear that you are eating and sleeping well! Reading your diary reminds me of when I was pregnant, you tend to forget these little magical moments when life and care gets in the way! I also kept forgetting to record things down and wish I had done them! Remember on your next check up ๐Ÿ˜‰ x
    Angela Cheung recently posted..Foodies Festival – Cheshire Tatton Park Tickets GiveawayMy Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      June 17, 2014 / 6:18 am

      I will! Husband will be at the scan next week so at least he isn’t missing that ๐Ÿ™‚
      x x

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      June 17, 2014 / 6:18 am

      It is. I need to slow down and appreciate it
      x x x

  10. June 16, 2014 / 10:06 pm

    Hurrah to feeling better! This is such a wonderful, positive post. I know EXACTLY what you mean about the panic at wondering if you’ve felt movement. This time my placenta is on the front, so although the movement is definitely there, it’s not always as noticeable as it was with Frog. Also, when you have other children to run around after it’s easy to forget about the baby your body is working hard to grow – I am in this situation myself! Well done on the daily pilates and the swimming – you’re doing so well with it all. I need to get myself in gear and do more Yoga. At the moment I’m only finding time for my weekly aquanatal class but what with a child in a cast (F broke her leg on Saturday!) and my work deadlines I’ve got nothing left to give at the moment! Thanks for linking up to the #BlogBumpClub again. Sorry it’s taken me so long to comment – bit of a manic weekend! xx
    Molly recently posted..5 things more fun than having a child in a castMy Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      June 17, 2014 / 6:17 am

      I can’t believe F has broken her leg! Oh no, poor little thing ๐Ÿ™ And you. That must be hard work!
      x x x

  11. June 17, 2014 / 9:14 pm

    That’s brilliant! Don’t beat yourself up for not having time to focus- you’re already a busy mum with 3 children. You’re doing so well! x
    Expression and Confession recently posted..Silent Sunday 15.6.14My Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      June 19, 2014 / 6:44 pm

      I know you’re right. So hard not to feel guilty though!
      x x

  12. June 18, 2014 / 9:25 pm

    Hugest congrats lovely, didn’t realise you were expecting again. Hope the sickness subsidies very soon. I always said I wanted four but not too sure I’m as brave as you ๐Ÿ˜‰ xx
    mummytries recently posted..Fatherโ€™s Day #letkidsbekidsMy Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      June 19, 2014 / 6:41 pm

      Ah thanks lovely. The sickness is definitely easing now, thank goodness!
      x x

  13. June 20, 2014 / 6:19 pm

    Happy to hear you’re feeling better and well done for finding the time to connect with the bump.
    Izzie Anderton recently posted..Grandkittens Maybe?My Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      June 21, 2014 / 8:07 am

      Ah thank you.
      x x

  14. June 21, 2014 / 11:16 pm

    My first time stopping by and its lovely to be here! I always felt wks 12-18 were a bit of a no-mans land… That first scan to those first kicks. Hard to patiently wait and trust… So glad all is going so well.xx

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      June 23, 2014 / 12:49 pm

      Hello! You’re right, the first few weeks can drag, especially when you feel so ill. But now that the 20 week scan is looming, I really do feel its going so fast!
      x x

  15. June 22, 2014 / 8:02 pm

    I’m so sorry you’re suffering, I don’t wish HG on anyone and knowing you’re going through it brings me to tears. Do not come off those tablets until you’re ready, if they’re keeping it at bay and keeping you sane then stick with them. Back with Dylan nothing worked but this time around the tablets did work! I made the mistakes of thinking that when I hit the second trimester that the sickness might of done one and came off the tablets, what a mistake that was! Went straight back on them and started to feel normal again. I hope the sickness buggers off completely very soon!
    Emma Harris recently posted..Britmums Live 2014 โ€“ What Iโ€™m Taking/Wearing/Doing..My Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      June 23, 2014 / 12:46 pm

      Thanks Emma, I hope so too! I suffered with Luka too but never thought it could ever be this bad. And its so hard getting people to understand that ginger biscuits just don’t work!! The tablets are my best friend, whether my midwife likes it or not! ๐Ÿ˜€
      x

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