Today I am 23 weeks pregnant. 23 weeks! And 5 days! I honestly don’t know how we got here. One minute there was this:
And then there was this:
And this week the bump has grown even more. The poppy seed is now the size of a papya and measuring approximately 8 inches already. Fat stores are being laid down, ready for The Big Day. Apparently I need to be aware that as baby starts to pack on the pounds, I will too. And I already feel different in myself. By the end of the month the poppy seed will have doubled in weight! And that fat will soon plump out the skin (that looks kind of blue right now, and is thin enough to be able to see the internal organs) and the poppy seed will start to look more like a baby.
I have to be honest here. And it’s my blog so I can do that. I am starting to feel that heavy, puffy feeling that comes with pregnancy. My face is filling out and the clothes that I have been relying on wearing throughout my pregnancy aren’t as comfortable as they once were. This is normal. This is natural. This is to be expected while you are growing a human being inside of you. This is what happens. This is what your body needs. But that does not mean I have to like it.
This is the stage of pregnancy that I really don’t like. Feeling too big in my own skin. Wanting to shrink away, inside, and outside. Wanting to be one of those pregnant women who just seem to float through it all looking like they swallowed a beach ball and nothing more. Ok, so it’s shallow but it’s how I feel. I am doing all that I can to limit weight gain and to stay as active and as healthy as I can for a positive pregnancy and to give myself every chance for a normal delivery. But despite eating well and exercising daily, I cannot stop the weight creeping on and I need to find a way to accept that it will happen and it will be ok.
And I will. Because for every pound that I gain, I move another step closer to baby number four. And that will keep my head up on the difficult days.