Don’t call me high risk! #MyPositivePregnancy

Don’t call me high risk.

Don’t take heed of the warnings that spew out into the papers at an alarming rate. A VBAC is not a disease, or a dirty word. A woman who has had a c section is not ‘risky business’. I am a woman who wants to give birth to her baby. To feel her baby. To be awake to see her baby take the first breath, open their eyes onto this world and feel their skin against mine. I am a woman who wants to be one of the first people to hold her baby. I am a woman who wants to sit up and hold her baby. To feed her baby with arms that feel the life within. I am a woman who wants to tell the world her baby’s name; not discover it for herself when she wakes.

Don’t call me high risk. Don’t greet my intentions with raised eyebrows and furrowed smiles. Don’t assume that my intentions will not be ‘allowed’. Don’t deny me the chance to be normal for once.

Don'r call me high risk_ my positive pregnancy~ Ghostwritermummy.co.uk

This weekend I came across this article by Milli Hill (@millihill) and I found myself nodding along to almost every word.

When my body screamed out to me that my son was on his way, the ‘High Risk’ label echoed the cry and we called the hospital straight away, as we’d been told. We went straight in, as we were told. We never questioned a thing and we never assumed that we were anything but high risk. The fact that I was labelled as High Risk left me in no doubt- what I was doing was scary. I wanted no part of it. But in actual fact, lots of women have a VBAC, and the fact that we didn’t should not be held against me.

This time, I am a woman striving for a VBA3C. And supposedly higher risk than ever before. And yet I feel more positive this time than I ever have. Whether it is age, experience, or having come to a point of peace with what has gone before, I do not know. But I do not feel scared. I do not feel High Risk. I feel like a woman who passes a mirror and catches sight of her swollen body and smiles, stops to capture the moment; when once I would have collapsed inside.

I feel like a woman with a life growing inside. I feel special. I feel on the edge of something wonderful. I feel strong. Strong enough to question decisions that are made for me. Strong enough to face the fear that I know will come as the weeks pass by. Strong enough to cast aside my label and just be a woman giving birth. For once.

That is my positive pregnancy. It’s taken four attempts to get here and I’m going to hold on to it.

To find out more about #MyPositivePregnancy, #TeamMama and Mama Academy, please click here. You can also read about the Made to Measure campaign here  and if you have a moment, please sign the petition urging all UK trusts to help save 1000 babies by adopting The Perinatal Institute’s GAP programme.

I want to raise awareness of IUGR and birth trauma to help others like Elsie and I. I can do this with your vote in the Brilliance in Blogging awards. If we’ve inspired you, please consider voting for us in writer, family or inspire categories. Thank you!

Here is the form. My email address is ghostwritermummy@hotmail.co.uk

 

44 Comments

  1. July 20, 2014 / 10:21 pm

    I love your positive attitude and the way you’re approaching this. I’ve always hated the High Risk label and really, really hope you get your VBAC x
    Donna recently posted..Me & You – JulyMy Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      July 21, 2014 / 6:10 am

      Thank you. Me too! x x x

  2. July 20, 2014 / 10:52 pm

    This is such a wonderful and inspiring post. I love your positivity. You are right, this is your body, your pregnancy, and your baby. Perhaps the way you feel is down to age and experience and confidence – whatever it is, hold on to all these good things. You are amazing, and I really hope this post inspires lots of other mummies-to-be to have faith and trust in their own bodies too. x
    Mummy Says recently posted..Baby’s first…. Milestones to forgetMy Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      July 21, 2014 / 6:10 am

      Thank you so much, what a wonderful comment. I am determined to hold on to this positivity! x x

  3. July 21, 2014 / 7:02 am

    I understand completely. Having faced a possible c-section after two natural births I went through all the emotions you describe. Every pregnancy is so different. So is every labour. My yoga teacher would say you can do this however you like. The fact that you are determined and positive will stand you in good stead. I really hope you get your VBAC Susanne x
    Amy Ransom recently posted..The first 12 days with a newborn…My Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      July 21, 2014 / 7:33 am

      Thanks lovely, I hope so too. Your yoga teacher sounds like a very wise lady 🙂 x x x

  4. July 21, 2014 / 7:34 am

    I really hope you get your vbac. I know there is such a lot of difference for c sec ladies in subsequent pregnancies and most are the labelling. I think a positive mindset does wonders doesn’t it?
    Notmyyearoff recently posted..Silent Sunday / Project 52 – Week 29My Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      July 21, 2014 / 7:52 am

      I think you’re right. And I cannot wait to prove to myself that I can do it after all! x x x

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      July 24, 2014 / 4:27 pm

      Thanks lovely. I’ determined to stay that way 🙂
      x

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      July 24, 2014 / 4:22 pm

      Thanks lovely x x x

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      July 24, 2014 / 4:15 pm

      Yes it is! x

  5. July 22, 2014 / 12:39 pm

    Hear hear. I have written a thing or two about pregnancy labels and high risk and being coerced into courses of action that might not be best for us. It happens with diagnosis of Down’s syndrome daily and it really must stop. Thank you for this post.
    Hayley
    Downs Side Up recently posted..Happy Birthday Prince George: A Right Royal Frugi GiftMy Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      July 24, 2014 / 7:57 am

      Thank YOU for your lovely comment, and for all that you do with your blog too. It has taken me 3 pregnancies to realise that this is MY body, and not the property of a hospital. The only labels I need are the ones that make me feel fab- mother being the most important of all x x x x

  6. July 22, 2014 / 10:37 pm

    I still remember the surprise I felt being told I was high risk when I was expecting Kitty; I never felt high risk and for me at 10 weeks pregnant I’d already done most of the risky bit in getting and staying pregnant. I can see why the hospitals need to categorise but I wish there were a way to distinguish between genuinely risky pregnancies and the sort that might be risky but probably won’t be and should just be monitored carefully. Ah well, I made my peace with the label a baby or two ago. Positive attitude all the way and fingers crossed for a nice uncomplicated VBAC!
    Carie recently posted..The Queen’s Hat {what we’re reading}My Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      July 24, 2014 / 7:38 am

      I know exactly what you mean- seeing that blue line and holding on to that tiny little poppyseed certainly felt like the risky part. All the vomiting and nausea and wishing it could all be over- that was way worse than anything that is happening now. I don’t feel high risk this time and I want to stay that way. The moment I accepted that label everything went wrong for me so I am determined to stay ‘normal’ this time! But like you I do intend to make peace with it all, and then do my own thing x x x x

  7. July 23, 2014 / 8:05 am

    You go girl! I honestly think that mother nature steps in if she needs to. Fight for a VBAC and if it’s not meant to be for whatever reason, let nature take its course. You sound very positive and that is a huge step towards a VBAC!
    suzanne3childrenandit recently posted..The Final CurtainMy Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      July 24, 2014 / 7:28 am

      Thats exactly what I plan to do. And I plan to make peace with it all before I step into the hospital x x x

  8. July 23, 2014 / 8:46 am

    Woohoo love that positive attitude honey 🙂 wishing you all the luck and good vibes in the world xx #sharewithme
    mummytries recently posted..Salt & Pepper Crispy DuckMy Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      July 24, 2014 / 7:26 am

      Thank you so much. Am determined to stay positive all the way through. One or two wobbles aside, I will do it! x x x

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      July 24, 2014 / 7:22 am

      Thank you so much. It really is the best job in the world x x x

  9. July 24, 2014 / 2:50 pm

    I loved reading this, it’s so inspirational.
    Funnily enough, I felt incredibly positive throughout my first pregnancy and birth. During labour, long and complicated though it was, I never felt scared. It was only afterwards that the fear crept in, when I listened to too many opinions from people who hadn’t been present about what should/could have happened. In the end, everything turned out fine so I shouldn’t listen to them, but I am scared for next time in a way I wasn’t before. Which is a shame, so I hope that, when we do get round to a next time, I can be as positive as you. #sharewithme
    Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork recently posted..Tasty Thursday – Italian Meatballs & pasta with Mascarpone, Tomato & Basil sauceMy Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      July 24, 2014 / 4:05 pm

      Oh yes I know what you mean! My first daughter was induced as 42 weeks and ended as an emergency section. Afterwards, I was told by midwives that we had both nearly died and I was genuinely shocked. At the time it had seemed relatively calm and all the staff made sure that I was as informed as can be, and never once betrayed the fact that they were saving our lives. When I fell pregnant the second time of all those comments were all I could think and I was a complete mess. This time I am determined to wipe the slate clean and start again. Thousands of women give birth every day so why can’t I? And in your case, you have done it once so there is no need to think you won’t do it again x x x

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      July 25, 2014 / 7:38 am

      Thank you- I think so too! x x x

  10. July 25, 2014 / 10:17 am

    You go girl! I love this! Its your body and you are the one who is calling the shot. I am with you with this =) #BrilliantBlogPosts
    Merlinda Little (@pixiedusk) recently posted..Tshirt OptionalMy Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      July 27, 2014 / 7:06 am

      Ah thank you so much! x x x x

  11. July 25, 2014 / 10:21 am

    Fabulous post. You’re so right, it is your body, and you should feel special while pregnant – it’s a wonderful time. I so wish I’d had more of my pregnancy, having to deliver at just 24 weeks. Being labelled ‘high risk’ is an interesting one, as it’s designed to ensure you get the appropriate care to make sure you and baby are ok – but of course, everyone is individual and much more than a convenient label, a number on a chart, or a statistic in a report. You are an individual woman with your individual baby inside of you. Your positive attitude towards pregnancy after your previous negative experiences of birth is inspiring. I’m also proud to be an ambassador for MAMA Academy, helping more women have a positive pregnancy and birth experience.
    Leigh Kendall recently posted..The Lexicon of DeathMy Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      July 27, 2014 / 7:06 am

      I too am proud to be part of Team Mama and although you may have days where you don’t think it, you too are an inspiration. Losing your baby in the way that you have is unimaginable to so many, but I thank you for sharing your story and continuing to do what you can to keep Hugo’s memory alive, and to raise awareness too. You’re right, being labelled high risk does have a purpose, but we are all, as you say, individuals and we deserve to be treated as such x x x x x

  12. July 25, 2014 / 2:44 pm

    I’m in the same position as you and loved reading your article.

    My daughter was born by emergency c-section and I missed out on the first few moment of her life as I was under general anaesthetic. I think mothers have enough to deal with without being labelled ‘high risk’.

    Good luck with the rest of your #positivepregnancy I will keep my fingers and toes crossed for us both xxx
    Beth recently posted..My Pregnancy Journey: Trimester One!My Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      July 27, 2014 / 7:01 am

      Thank you so much. And I am sorry about what happened with your daughter. It is such a scary experience x x x x

  13. July 25, 2014 / 2:45 pm

    What a great post! I admire you for being so strong and staying positive. In the midst of hormones and unsolicited comments and advice, it’s sometimes hard to do so (I know this first hand), but your strength never wanes. Wishing you even more positivity and a great several more weeks of pregnancy.

    Maria
    cmntsblog.wordpress.com
    Maria recently posted..The One with the Little Things (Volume 3)My Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      July 27, 2014 / 7:01 am

      Thank you so much! What a lovely comment. I am determined to stay positve 🙂
      x x x

  14. July 25, 2014 / 9:36 pm

    I really hope you get the birth and pregnancy all the way through that you want and that everything goes smoothly. It sucks that they have to categorise each pregnancy as high risk and I bet that is half the battle to deal with the categorisations. Best of luck and it’s your body and I completely agree you should have the choice of how you want it. Thanks for linking up to Share With Me. Sorry my response is late I have been without power for two days. Eeek. #sharewithme
    Jenny recently posted..Share With Me ~ wk 25My Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      July 26, 2014 / 8:50 pm

      Thanks lovely, I am determined this time!! And thank you for commenting, I really didn’t expect it with you being away. Hope you’re still having lots of fun! x x x

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      July 28, 2014 / 6:25 am

      Thank you so much- I really hope so too x x x x

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      August 3, 2014 / 5:44 pm

      Thank you x x

  15. January 3, 2015 / 12:01 pm

    Another great post to share. I loved this one. You are inspiring and powerful in your words. #sharewithme
    Jenny recently posted..Me & Mine {December}My Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      January 9, 2015 / 9:47 am

      Ah thank you! x x

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