The beginnings of a birth plan in two parts

You cannot plan birth. You cannot always make a birth plan that works.

Childbirth is not predictable. It is not something than can be compartmentalised and ordered to your own control. You can express preferences and good intentions, but at the end of the day nobody knows how it will go. I know this only too well. And I am no natural organiser or planner. Ask anyone. My first birth was not a planned affair. I had wanted a water birth with no pain relief besides gas and air. What I got was an induction, an epidural and an emergency c section. Second time around, I had planned for an elective section and what I got was another emergency section- category 1 this time, under general anaesthetic and a world of pain. Third time around I planned for my elective section to be a healing birth and in some ways it was. But not quite.

And this time?

This time I’ve caught myself making plans, despite the fact I don’t do this very well. But they are loose. So loose they might fly away on the breath of a surgeon. The fate of this birth lies somewhere else entirely now. But here it is anyway.

The beginnings of a birth plan in two parts~ Ghostwritermummy.co.uk

A quote that I saw for a friend and words I took to heart myself

Version one.

And version two.

I want to be left alone to go into labour naturally; I am prepared for this to take up to 42 weeks. No sweeps, no induction, no examinations.

I will be taken in to hospital between 34-36 weeks to deliver my baby by planned section. Not elective, planned.

If my body does not labour naturally at 42 weeks, I will elect to have a section.

I would like my baby to be delivered and shown to me first, if possible.

If my body does labour naturally, I want to stay at home for as long as possible. Once at hospital, I will agree to monitoring, but I want to move around. I want to be able to eat if I feel like it and if the pool and the monitor which allows me to use the pool are both available, I would like to use them.

I would like to request delayed cord clamping if there is time and baby is not too poorly.

No epidural. No episiotomy. No unnecessary examinations. I would like to be left to labour, but I would like midwife support to be consistent, regular and supportive.

I would like to have the catheter removed within 8 hours so that I can shower and go to SCBU/ NICU to see my baby as soon as possible. I would like my husband to take a photo to show me in the meantime, but I would not like any other visitors to visit baby until I have been first.

I would like as few people in the room as possible and, if you can, please let me know who is about to come into the room before they come in.

I would like to bring my own hat for baby to wear in hospital. I also intend to breastfeed and I will express milk for this purpose.

Please give me enough time to push. My previous labours have progressed quickly, but pushing was difficult due to the epidurals. I do not intend to have an epidural this time, but I do not know how pushing will be for me. Please advise and support me, as this is the part I am most unsure of and most scared of.

Please talk to me and explain to me how my baby is doing. I would like to be informed 24/7.

Please talk to me and explain what is happening. If I need an emergency section, please tell me and please make sure that it is truly necessary. Please, if you can, don’t put me to sleep.

If I do get my VBAC, I would like baby to be delivered to me for skin to skin, and for the cord clamping to be delayed. I intend to breastfeed so would like to do this straight away.

I would like to be discharged as soon as I am well enough, so that I can see my other children at home, and so that I can spend as much time with baby as possible.

I would like an injection for the third stage.

I would like to be left alone with baby and husband as soon as possible after birth so that we can get to know our new family member.

I would like to be discharged as soon as possible, if we are both well, so that we can be home with our other children.

 

At the moment we just don’t know which plan will be followed as best as possible by the staff we are entrusting with the birth of our baby. It may indeed all change once more. There could be a version three, should the baby start to grow but remain breech! In the meantime, I am knitting. Making tiny, soft hats and dreaming of never needing to use them for the poppyseed.

At the moment, we don’t know which plan will be followed more closely.

Mother's Always Right
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24 Comments

  1. September 3, 2014 / 10:01 am

    Here’s hoping you get the birth you want this time around.
    After having my daughters I wept with laughter after realising that not one thing on my plan had actually happened. As both babies were OK, this was fine and that was all that mattered.
    Izzie Anderton recently posted..Birthday SeasonMy Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      September 3, 2014 / 4:54 pm

      I know what you mean! Birth plans are not meant to be kept- I know that, but can’t help wanting a few things to be respected x x x

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      September 3, 2014 / 4:54 pm

      Thanks lovely x x

  2. September 3, 2014 / 11:12 am

    I really really hope you get the birth you want, so often people don’t understand wanting your childbirth to be a certain way but I do believe it makes such a difference to those early days with your new baby. I had the opposite of my birth plan first time round too with my natural birth turned into induction, epidural and massive haemorrhage, so I understand a bit of where you’re coming from. Fingers crossed for you lovely x
    Franglaise Mummy recently posted..Digital Detox: Pros and ConsMy Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      September 3, 2014 / 4:53 pm

      I’m sorry you had such an awful time too. And thank you for your lovely comment, I have my fingers crossed too x x x

  3. September 3, 2014 / 12:57 pm

    Birth cannot, of course, be planned, but are allowed to make choices. I hope you find supporting healthcare professionals who respect your choices. Wishing you have the kind of birth you want, but above all, that everything goes well for you x
    Tarana recently posted..Q is for…QuaintMy Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      September 3, 2014 / 4:49 pm

      Thank you x x

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      September 5, 2014 / 6:11 am

      Yep, they usually do! x x

  4. September 4, 2014 / 9:33 pm

    I hope that things turn out well! Depending on your hospital and health, if you do end up in special care (fingers crossed otherwise), nice midwives from my experience can be happy to rig up catheters and medical gubbins on wheelchairs or even wheel whole beds into SCBU if there is space and you and baby are not in danger. I first met my 27 weeker whilst completely immobile on a hospital bed fully attached to drips here there and everywhere, and spend some time next to the incubator whilst the epidural wore off. I think it probably helped that the post natal ward were very quiet so they had a spare midwife to escort me, but good staff will move heaven and earth to make happy things happen! xx

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      September 5, 2014 / 6:11 am

      I’m so sorry you went through all of that, it must have been terrifying. But thank you for letting me know. If the worst does happen, it is a comfort to know that I may be able to see my baby sooner x x

  5. September 5, 2014 / 5:59 am

    I never really wrote a birth plan – I just expressed preferences to my husband before hand and as it turned out nothing went “to plan” anyway.
    Like you I refused to call my third section “elective” – I didn’t choose it, I wanted VBAC. it was planned in the end when circumstances were out of my control.
    Fingers crossed those lovely soft hats will find a home somewhere else x
    Colette recently posted..Tried & Tested TuesdayMy Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      September 5, 2014 / 6:09 am

      I’m sorry you didn’t get your VBAC. Sometimes, like you say, everything is beyond our control. And yes, I am hoping the hats are donated to families who really need them x x x

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      September 5, 2014 / 10:13 am

      Thanks lovely. I’m hoping we’ll soon have more of an idea about which plan we get to follow! x x

  6. September 5, 2014 / 5:42 pm

    Hope you get the birth you want and that everything goes ok. My 1st did not go to plan at all, the midwifes etc. didn’t even look at my birth plan or ask was there anything I wanted. I had my next 2 as home births and everything was great. Obviously with the prior sections there are further complications for you but I really hope you get the birth you want this time around. Good luck xxx
    Andrea recently posted..BrandAlley – Rodial Dragons Blood Hyaluronic Night CreamMy Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      September 5, 2014 / 7:49 pm

      Thank you so much x x

  7. September 6, 2014 / 4:16 pm

    Hope everything goes well for you this time! 🙂 It will hopefully all go to plan and you will have your beautiful baby to show for it…and all your pregnant friends will be begging you for all those beautiful maternity dresses you’ve been modelling!

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      September 7, 2014 / 7:14 am

      Haha yes I hope that is the case too x x

  8. September 7, 2014 / 9:34 pm

    Truly hope you have the birth you want, you deserve it! And if not it sounds like you have it all covered in your plans, loose plans are the best-lots of room for movement, mine were quite vague! xx
    Danielle recently posted..Our wedding: Before the ceremony!My Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      September 8, 2014 / 10:03 am

      Ah thank you. I agree- loose plans are the way to go! x x

  9. September 7, 2014 / 9:34 pm

    Thanks for sharing! Really comforting to read thoughts and feeling of someone who has been through labour a few times before. I met with my midwife last week and we went through my birthplan. Like you said it is a good idea to keep it flexible as you never know what will happen when labour starts. All the best to you and I look forward to the next post. X
    Working mum blog recently posted..36 weeks| week by week pregnancy diary of a first time mumMy Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      September 8, 2014 / 10:03 am

      Thanks for your lovely comment, I’m so pleased my ramblings could help!! Yes, flexibility is the key and I hope we find out soon which plan can be disregarded altogether! x x

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