My truth about life with a newborn

They say that nothing can really prepare you for life with a newborn, and it seems even having done it three times before isn’t enough. You really do forget what it’s like. The intensity of it all. The absolutely unrelenting need they have. To be with you. To have you. To need you. And for such a short, yet never-ending time, you are theirs.

You.

You are 100% on call. In demand. Needed. Wanted.

You.

What you want, need or demand doesn’t always get met. You are not enough any more. This tiny person, so helpless yet so powerful, has taken all the glory. And while people say that you are important too (are you sleeping while the baby sleeps? You really should, you know) they really don’t mean that like they did a few months ago. With baby on the outside, attention has shifted- and so it should. And yet, with all the wanting and the needing and the demanding, it would be kind of nice for people to remember you once in a while.

My truth about life with a newborn_~ Ghostwritermummy.co.uk

My truth about life with a newborn is simple. It’s the hardest job around. It is 24 hours a day. It is intense. The night shift can be gruelling. The feeds can be draining. The outings can be exhausting. At present sleep is the biggest issue in our lives, and being sleep deprived makes all the rest that much harder too.

I am starting to feel as though there is nothing more to my life than school runs and swimming lessons and some kid’s birthday party and nappy changes and grocery shops and having to fit all of that around breastfeeding and paid work and housework and… you don’t get to eat until 2pm, you don’t get to shower til someone comes to relieve you for ten minutes, you don’t get to sit for longer than ten minutes unless you are feeding and…

and

it’s hard. It’s unrelenting. It’s life with a newborn, and three others chucked in for good measure.

And then you do something simple. You bundle the kids in their winter coats and place your newborn in the pram, wrapped in a blanket and mittens on hands. You get the bikes and the helmets and the scooters and the welly boots, and a bag for treasure and pennies for sweets. You close the door behind you and you step out into the world. You leave the washing that needs hanging and the pots that need washing and the bedrooms that need exterminating and the homework that needs checking and the dinner that needs making and the chaos that needs… something. You leave it all for an hour in the winter’s sunshine and you finally FINALLY enjoy all four of your children at once.

To see them smile. To see them laugh. To see them enjoy being together. To listen to their conversations and realise that in the middle of the whirlwind they have been evolving without you. They have been smiling and laughing and talking all along. And you have been buried under the nappies and the sleep deprivation and the all consuming breastfeeding and YOU have not been living the life right. Yes, life with a newborn is hard and to say otherwise is just not honest. But it is so so so short lived. And soon the house will be restored and sleep will stretch a little longer and order overtakes the chaos once more. I know, because this is how it goes.

And then there is this.

My truth about life with a newborn~ Ghostwritermummy.co.uk.

The first smile. Doesn’t it always come just when you need it? When you feel you are about to break, your body and your mind can take no more… the smile lights your being once more and sets you straight. Of course you can do it.

 

 
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65 Comments

65 Comments on My truth about life with a newborn

  1. Amy Treasure
    December 4, 2014 at 9:55 am (2 years ago)

    Oh those words couldn’t be more true, that smile comes at exactly the tight moment :) bloomin bard work though isn’t it. I found it quite a shock when I had my third but it’s milestones like this that made it all worth it. X
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    Reply
    • ghostwritermummy
      December 4, 2014 at 10:21 am (2 years ago)

      It really does make it all worth it x x x

      Reply
  2. Fiona
    December 4, 2014 at 10:30 am (2 years ago)

    I am in the middle of it all right now! My girl is 8weeks old, but she was 5weeks premature so she is somewhere in between in the development stage. I cannot wait for her smile, she has smiled for her daddy and granny but is staying very serious with me the little minx! I love to watch her sleep, such a little angel. After spending the days and night as worrying about colic, reflux, thrush etc it is just so peaceful to see her in a deep sleep … And not crying! Love your posts x

    Reply
    • ghostwritermummy
      December 4, 2014 at 11:11 am (2 years ago)

      I know exactly what you mean! I do find it so calming to watch her sleep, especially when we’ve had a rough day x x x

      Reply
  3. Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork
    December 4, 2014 at 10:33 am (2 years ago)

    Gosh yes, all of this. I honestly don’t remember what I did all day in the newborn weeks, but I do remember the relentlessness and a tiredness so profound it made me feel sick. I do also remember the first smile though, thank goodness! It’s amazing how remote it all seems once you’ve conquered the first few months. x
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    Reply
    • ghostwritermummy
      December 4, 2014 at 11:15 am (2 years ago)

      I agree! And at the same time I want time to stop still, to stay here for a while even though its so tough! x x x

      Reply
  4. Maria
    December 4, 2014 at 11:18 am (2 years ago)

    Oh it is SO true – I remember feeling exactly that way when my second was born but in a blink of an eye he is nearly two! Sleep deprivation is crippling and I’m guessing you have found it harder each time round (I certainly did second time round)

    We do need to remind ourselves time to time that they do just grow up to fast and to enjoy the here and now rather than wishing the baby stages away!

    Great post x
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    Reply
    • ghostwritermummy
      December 4, 2014 at 11:25 am (2 years ago)

      You’re right. I am trying so hard not to wish it away, even though I really am finding it hard x x x

      Reply
  5. brummymummyof2
    December 4, 2014 at 11:29 am (2 years ago)

    EEK hun she’s beautiful lovely. I know what you mean. I am thinking about number 3 for next year but those first few months are SO HARD! I need to either embrace the fact that it will suck but it’s only for a short time or just not have one. I am happy to see you are getting out and about with your clan. Lovely lovely post x
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  6. Potty Mouthed Mummy
    December 4, 2014 at 11:37 am (2 years ago)

    This is beautiful. It’s so true as well. Now, 3 years after I had a newborn on my hands, I look back with such rose-tinted glasses and have glossed over how incredibly tough it is. You sum it up perfectly. Gorgeous pics and I am glad you are looking around and seeing the beauty. Chin up lovely, you can definitely do this!! xx
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    Reply
    • ghostwritermummy
      December 4, 2014 at 1:03 pm (2 years ago)

      Thanks lovely. I needed those words of encouragement today x x x

      Reply
  7. Caro | The Twinkles Momma
    December 4, 2014 at 11:40 am (2 years ago)

    This is such a lovely post!! And so true! When I had the twins, although I was caught up in a bubble of absolute euphoria at finally being a mother, I also had the exhaustion and terror of dealing with newborns for the first time. Doubly so.

    But you’re so right… the tiniest affirmation from our tiny offspring is all that’s needed to set us up for the day. Or a very long night!! My babies are now 20 months and I’m dealing with new challenges (and tantrums) every day. But have those little arms reach around your neck or see a little smile on those precious faces is all you need to keep going.

    Because this time is so finite. Blink and you miss it!! xxx
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    • ghostwritermummy
      December 4, 2014 at 1:03 pm (2 years ago)

      Gosh newborn twins! My heart is racing at the thought of that!!! x x

      Reply
  8. Lucy Blossom
    December 4, 2014 at 12:36 pm (2 years ago)

    There were times that I really didn’t enjoy being a mum with my daughter it was just so demanding and draining, but that first smile, the giggle, the eyes that light up when they see you – all of these make it so worth it. Thanks for sharing.
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    Reply
    • ghostwritermummy
      December 4, 2014 at 1:02 pm (2 years ago)

      Yes there are times where I just want to run away too. I know it all gets easier though, that keeps you going doesn’t it x x

      Reply
  9. Caroline (BecomingaSAHM)
    December 4, 2014 at 12:58 pm (2 years ago)

    Very true lovely and you are so right about getting out and enjoying it, otherwise you just drown in how hard it is, must be so much harder with 3 older ones too! Aww and first smiles are the best, and they def come at the right time. :) xx #brilliantblogposts
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    • ghostwritermummy
      December 4, 2014 at 12:59 pm (2 years ago)

      Don’t they just?? How are you finding it all? x x

      Reply
      • Caroline (BecomingaSAHM)
        December 4, 2014 at 1:28 pm (2 years ago)

        Hard work but getting better, especially since we got Gaviscon for the reflux, at least we are getting some sleep now, she goes 5-6 hrs at night now which is amazing! Plus she’s smiling now which really makes it all feel much better!! Xx
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        • ghostwritermummy
          December 4, 2014 at 3:41 pm (2 years ago)

          Reflux is awful :( But I’m glad that the Gaviscon is helping you x x x

          Reply
  10. JoyandPops
    December 4, 2014 at 1:35 pm (2 years ago)

    All so true!
    I love the newborn stage, but most certainly not the sleep deprivation! Just when you think you have had all you can take though they give you something amazing, a smile or snuggle – it’s like they know you need it!
    My youngest is two now an I’m left wondering where my little baby went. I called her ‘the baby’ the other day and she looked at me very seriously and said ‘no, Poppy a big girl’. So, there you have it.
    Enjoy these tiring, shattering, crazy and beautiful days!
    Xx
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    • ghostwritermummy
      December 4, 2014 at 3:41 pm (2 years ago)

      I am definitely at the point where I feel I could snap. I am exhausted. But then she msiles and its almost as if that charges my batteries again x x

      Reply
  11. Emma
    December 4, 2014 at 3:12 pm (2 years ago)

    Such a great post, I think mother nature is very clever making sure those first smiles arrive just when we need them x
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    • ghostwritermummy
      December 4, 2014 at 3:40 pm (2 years ago)

      Yes I think Mother Nature really does time it so well!! x x

      Reply
  12. Louise @ Birds and Lilies
    December 4, 2014 at 3:25 pm (2 years ago)

    This is such a great post; I love it. The newborn stage is so hard and so relentless but it does go so fast and you forget how difficult it was so quickly. I’ve only done it once but it scares me a lot the thought of doing it again but this time with an older child to look after too. You’re clearly doing an amazing job, especially if you can get three older children and a newborn (and yourself!) out the door without giving up! Sometimes doing that is hard enough with one! I hate how sleep deprivation makes you wish the time away when all you want to be doing is enjoying those special moments and living in the moment with your beautiful baby x #brillblogposts

    Reply
    • ghostwritermummy
      December 4, 2014 at 3:37 pm (2 years ago)

      I hate everything about sleep deprivation, it sucks big time. But they are all worth it 😉 x x x

      Reply
  13. Seychellesmama
    December 4, 2014 at 3:56 pm (2 years ago)

    This is amazing, I loved every second of reading this. It’s amazing how as soon as that newborn stage finishes, you forget exactly how tough it really is…..I guess that’s deliberate so people have more babies!?

    It’s wonderful how something so simple as getting out the house for a little while can snap you back to reality. Walking away from the mundane-ness (pretty sure that’s not a word!) to give you perspective of what’s important, and what’s real in life!!

    You’re right though, boy does it go fast!!!!
    Xx

    Reply
  14. Zena's Suitcase
    December 4, 2014 at 6:24 pm (2 years ago)

    You have absolutely captured in words my experience for the first 3 months of Little Pudding’s life. What kept me sane was knowing it wasn’t forever. My girls are starting to enjoy each other now which is amazing. Wonderful writing :)
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  15. Honest mum
    December 4, 2014 at 7:44 pm (2 years ago)

    This made me cry honey, so so beautiful and touching and truthful because life with a newborn is oh so tough and especially with other children too yet those moment, those smiles really help. I hope you have lots of lovely support sweetie, friends and family who can help. Never feel bad for asking for help. You are incredible, thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts xx
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  16. Joy
    December 4, 2014 at 8:09 pm (2 years ago)

    Such a honest post. I couldn’t help but relate to your words. No matter how many times you’ve done its still the hardest job in the world and sometime can be overwhelming.

    Reply
  17. Joy
    December 4, 2014 at 8:12 pm (2 years ago)

    Such an honest post. I couldn’t help but relate to your words. No matter how many times you’ve done it, its still the hardest job in the world and sometimes can be overwhelming.
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  18. Mel
    December 4, 2014 at 9:01 pm (2 years ago)

    That first smile always comes exactly when you need it, doesn’t it? I can really relate with everything you’ve written, and I also enjoy my four most when I close the door and forget about the zillion things that have to get done. Beautiful smile from Elsie. x #BrillBlogPosts
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    • ghostwritermummy
      December 4, 2014 at 9:09 pm (2 years ago)

      Yes, the smile couldn’t be better timed could it? x x

      Reply
  19. Milly
    December 4, 2014 at 9:14 pm (2 years ago)

    Oh. It doesn’t get easier or miraculously change in intensity by #4? Hmmph. Damn. I was counting on it for when we have a second some day, ha! And they do have a wonderful knack of timing something precious for the very moment you must need it. Four beautiful children, how very lucky :)
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  20. Isabella
    December 4, 2014 at 9:59 pm (2 years ago)

    This is so accurately summed up! I don’t think enough people are honest about how hard having newborn (and the same with going through labour!) is. The sleep deprivation and the all consuming need of the baby are just like nothing else. I’ve recently had my second baby, now four months, so I’ve only just gone through it all again. But like you say, it does actually pass rather quickly, in the grand scheme of things, and that first smile or the first coo-ing compensates for every grey hair, wrinkle and sleep-deprived chaos and insanity! Great post! :-) x

    Reply
    • ghostwritermummy
      December 5, 2014 at 6:00 am (2 years ago)

      I think its so easy to forget how hard it is too, especially as its so short lived. But when you’re in the thick of it, it does help to know someone else understands x x x

      Reply
  21. Penny
    December 4, 2014 at 10:18 pm (2 years ago)

    You have four…where does the time go? Beautiful post and beautiful baby :) I read something that made me laugh about newborns earlier, about how all women should call their babies Gotham, so they can say to men at night ‘Gotham Needs You! and go back to sleep. It has been a while since I had a newborn, but it did make me laugh a lot x

    Reply
    • ghostwritermummy
      December 5, 2014 at 5:59 am (2 years ago)

      I only WISH that would work, that’s brilliant! I am at the stage now where I feel quite annoyed at everyone else sleeping soundly while I’m not. so frustrating! x x x

      Reply
  22. Emma
    December 4, 2014 at 10:29 pm (2 years ago)

    Aww what a lovely post. I have not had my experience of living with a newborn yet (she’s on her way!) but am building myself up to it. Here’s to lack of sleep!

    Emma | frillsanddoodads.com
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    • ghostwritermummy
      December 5, 2014 at 5:58 am (2 years ago)

      I’ll drink to that! x x

      Reply
  23. Nikki Thomas
    December 5, 2014 at 7:20 am (2 years ago)

    At least in your newborn haze you are still able to write beautiful blog posts. Those first few months are tough and I know when I had my fourth, I spent my whole life feeling guilty about everything; the other children, the housework, the most ridiculous things. But that phase passes so quickly and you look back and wonder why you were so worried. You have a beautiful baby and in a few months everything will be much, much easier (hopefully)
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    • ghostwritermummy
      December 6, 2014 at 8:19 am (2 years ago)

      Thank you! x x x x

      Reply
  24. Mummy Tries
    December 5, 2014 at 8:26 am (2 years ago)

    I wrote something very similar after my third baby was born.Once the honeymoon period was over it really did feel like life was just a constant revolving door of nappy changes, school runs, piecing together food and dealing with meltdowns! It is definitely getting easier now he’s almost 10m… and of course when they are sleeping or sitting there looking as gorgeous as little Elsie is in that last photo all is quickly forgiven. Be kind to yourself darling. Hugs xxx #brilliantblogposts
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    • ghostwritermummy
      December 6, 2014 at 8:19 am (2 years ago)

      Thanks lovely x x

      Reply
  25. Monika
    December 5, 2014 at 10:59 am (2 years ago)

    Oh those first weeks and months! It’s hard and seems never-ending.
    The only way to maintain sanity is, as you did, step away from the routine and just enjoy life, go out, get some sun and fresh air.
    Sleep will come! And then like a miraculous cure will make it all ok & the hardships fade into surreal memories.
    Hang in there!
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    • ghostwritermummy
      December 6, 2014 at 8:17 am (2 years ago)

      From now on, despite the weather, I have to make sure I leave the house every day for a walk. It was such a moment for me, and I remember getting that feeling with all the others too. You really do get caught up in it all x x x

      Reply
  26. Tarana Khan
    December 5, 2014 at 1:58 pm (2 years ago)

    I’ve written about this recently, but you’ve described lufe with a newborn so well! At the time, it seems like you’ll never get through it, but somehow we do. Must be because babies are so adorable. Take care x
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    • ghostwritermummy
      December 6, 2014 at 8:16 am (2 years ago)

      That’s where I am right now. I cannot see an end to the tiredness, nappies and vomit. And yes I KNOW that as soon as I blink it will be gone so at the same time I’m hanging on with both hands x x x x

      Reply
  27. hannah gee
    December 5, 2014 at 6:26 pm (2 years ago)

    It is great to see such an honest review with no sugarcoating of what it is really like. It really is the hardest job in the world yet nothing is more rewarding. Every parent deserves a medal in my book xx

    Reply
    • ghostwritermummy
      December 6, 2014 at 8:15 am (2 years ago)

      I agree! x x x

      Reply
  28. Debbie
    December 6, 2014 at 11:38 am (2 years ago)

    Having a newborn without three others thrown in for luck is hard enough, but as you say it soon passes and with it all the 1sts. Mums survive because they have to and the little treats like the first smile and watching children enjoy some good old fashioned outdoor fun makes it all worth while.

    I don’t think there is one Mum who would or could disagree with what you have written!

    #MMWBH
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    • ghostwritermummy
      December 8, 2014 at 11:27 am (2 years ago)

      Ah thank you. I think its amazing what we go through as mums and are willing to do it over and over again just for a smile :) x x

      Reply
  29. Mummyandmonkeys
    December 6, 2014 at 7:47 pm (2 years ago)

    Wow love this. Ive recently written a similar newborn post. It’s a beautiful, rewarding yet utterly exhausting time. X

    Reply
    • ghostwritermummy
      December 8, 2014 at 11:26 am (2 years ago)

      It really is :) x x

      Reply
    • ghostwritermummy
      December 8, 2014 at 11:25 am (2 years ago)

      THank you :) I think thats the way Mother Nature intended it x x

      Reply
  30. Jenny
    December 7, 2014 at 11:49 pm (2 years ago)

    Oh I can relate so much darling. It’s amazingly wonderful and exhausting and draining all at once. I felt this way when MM was born and I had a one year old as well on my hands. Life seems never ending of the same routines. We are all in this together at least and can relate and feel that parenting pain and joys together. You are doing amazing. Thanks for linking up to Share With Me. Happy Holidays #sharewithme
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    • ghostwritermummy
      December 8, 2014 at 11:25 am (2 years ago)

      You really had your hands full with a newborn and 1 year old!! One day we’ll look back and wonder how we did it! x x

      Reply
    • ghostwritermummy
      December 9, 2014 at 3:53 pm (2 years ago)

      Thanks lovely x x

      Reply
  31. Sara (@mumturnedmom)
    December 11, 2014 at 6:12 pm (2 years ago)

    This is all so, so true. It is relentless, and feels like forever; but really so short. So important to step back and enjoy it though, and that walk with the four must have been wonderful. And, the smiles! They really do arrive in the nick of time. Lovely post xx
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    • ghostwritermummy
      December 12, 2014 at 12:07 pm (2 years ago)

      THanks lovely. The smiles keep coming just when I really need them x x x

      Reply
  32. Anna Fraser
    December 15, 2014 at 10:47 am (2 years ago)

    Wow. You nailed it!

    My fourth baby is now no longer a baby, he is three yrs old and that order you speak of, is just about restored for us. Just!

    I will be honest too and admit that his needs as a newborn seriously tipped the balance round here! It was almost the straw that broke the camels back … And then you blink, and the first year is over.

    4 children is a lot ; managing thier needs and different ages is certainly not for the feint hearted!! – but my oh my, do you feel like the dogs back-wheels when you do manage it!

    Keep going. And keep your eye on time, it is a thief after all
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    • ghostwritermummy
      December 15, 2014 at 2:16 pm (2 years ago)

      Thank you. Time really is a thief, I love that way of looking at it x x x

      Reply

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