Ways in which my c-sections make me amazing

If you’ve had a c-section, I hope you know that you are amazing.

I’ve had four c-sections. And until now, I have always been- if not ashamed- a little defensive over them.

But baby was in distress, so the section saved my life.

My son WOULD have died without a section.

It was the easiest decision for me after two traumatic failed labours and emergency sections.

The doctors said it was the safest and only way my baby could be delivered alive.

Ways in which my c-sections make me amazing~ Ghostwritermummy.co.uk

I’ve always been a little anxious when meeting new mums and the conversation turns to the birth. I’ve always assumed that there was something wrong with my body. Something wrong with me. I failed. I didn’t do what I was supposed to do.

But I’m tired of defending myself. I’m tired of feeling like I never really gave birth. So what if my baby came out on the operating table? I might not have given birth in the conventional way, but I gave life just the same. Who cares how the babies arrived?

Ok, so I care. I do. I really care. I care about the fact that my very first experience of childbirth was terrifying. I was ignored and laughed at. I was dismissed. I was given drugs and injections and Ways in which my c-sections make me amazing~ Ghostwritermummy.co.ukexaminations that did not help me. My baby was taken from my body not just once, but for a second time too. I was left in pain. I was taken to the brink of death and my baby almost died. I was sent to sleep while surgical hands reached inside to find my blue baby and bring him out into the world. I was not there. And I care about that. I care so much.

And because I care, I want to make it clear that those first two birth experiences make me amazing. I laboured for hours each time. Alone. Without the support of a midwife to hold my hand. Without the knowledge that I was a strong, capable woman. Without power. I laboured despite myself, for hours, with no pain relief. And just when I thought I could take no more, I was taken for major surgery. The mask over my face and the knife to skin just moments later.

And if you know what it is like to labour so intensely, with the sole purpose of bringing your baby into the world, only to realise that you will need to see that happen in an operating theatre… then you will know that I am amazing.

And if you know what it is like to labour so intensely a second time, with the desperate need to bring your baby into the world otherwise he might die, only for the world to go black and to wake up with a baby by your side… then you will know that I am amazing.

Ways in which my c-sections make me amazing~ Ghostwritermummy.co.uk

And if you know what it’s like to move your battered body a few inches across the bed, to gingerly ‘swing’ your legs around so that your feet brush the floor, to step lightly onto the ground for the first time since ‘it’ happened… then you will know that I am amazing.

To stand in the hospital shower weeping in pain each time the water jets strike the cannula in your battered hand; cursing that cannula because you didn’t want to be there, in that shower, in pain, not again. To wince in pain with each step you take. To choose to spend the night sitting up in a chair rather than to lie down in a bed because it is slightly less painful to do so. To need a cushion so that you can laugh. To still hold on to the belief that your body might make it next time.

If you know what that is like, you will know that I am amazing.

 

 

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23 Comments

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      April 27, 2015 / 6:18 am

      Thanks lovely x x

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      April 27, 2015 / 6:18 am

      Thank you. You’re right- they are here and that is important x x

  1. Ruth
    April 27, 2015 / 6:47 am

    you are amazing. I am amazing. I’m trying to be less hard on myself and this post has me thinking. Thank you x

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      April 27, 2015 / 12:00 pm

      You’re more than welcome. And thank you for your lovely comment x x

  2. April 27, 2015 / 11:57 am

    I have had six c-sections after six vaginal births and caesareans are definitely not the easy way out. The fear that sets in when labour isn’t progressing as the pregnancy books tell you they should is unforgettable. The pain, already indescribably difficult to endure, pails as you are told that your baby’s life is hanging in the balance. It’s an emergency situation difficult to imagine and one you never wish upon another expectant mother.

    You are amazing.

    I wrote about our emergency sections in my post here): “How Many C-Sections Can A Woman Have?” http://www.largerfamilylife.com/2013/09/19/how-many-c-sections-can-a-woman-have/
    Tania @ Larger Family Life recently posted..How to Encourage a Young ArtistMy Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      April 27, 2015 / 12:03 pm

      Thank you so much for sharing that post, I remember reading it when I was dreaming of a VBAC! You’re right, the fear is unbelivable and the pain so different after a section. You are absolutely amazing!!! x x x

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      April 27, 2015 / 12:04 pm

      Thank you! And after 6 sections you too are amazing!! But I think you know that 🙂
      Thanks for the link, I remember reading this when I was dreaming of a vbac x x x

  3. April 27, 2015 / 7:13 pm

    You ARE amazing. You are amazing because you’ve been through all that, and you still reach out to those of us who can’t speak up just yet and you say everything that we need to say so that we only have to read it and nod. Thank you.
    Amber recently posted..My Caesarean Section Twin Birth StoryMy Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      April 29, 2015 / 6:14 am

      Oh thank you so much. You are amazing too, obviously x x x

  4. April 29, 2015 / 8:27 pm

    Thank you for your positive outlook on C-sections. I very much appreciated your lovely comment on my birth story post and wanted to visit your blog to read more about your birth experiences. You are strong and amazing! I’ll be back to read more 🙂
    Sharisse @ Savvy Sweet Life recently posted..My Birth Story for Cesarean AwarenessMy Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      April 29, 2015 / 8:48 pm

      Oh thank you! That’s so kind. I am on a mission to change perceptions of c-sections 🙂 x x x

  5. April 30, 2015 / 10:22 am

    I can really relate to this. I have often felt defensive when meeting new people and giving ‘excuses’ as to why I’ve had two C-sections. As long as baby and I are safe then that is best. It is definitely NOT an easy option! #brilliantblogposts
    Rebecca U recently posted..Does Having a Messy Home Make You a Better Mum?My Profile

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      May 3, 2015 / 7:40 am

      I couldn’t agree more. When major surgery that leaves you bedridden for a few hours, and unable to perform small tasks for a few weeks is the ‘easy option’ I dread to think what ‘natural’ birth must be like!! There should be no comparisons or attitudes that one way is better than the other. Every birth is hard work and c-sections are in no way for wimps x x x

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      May 3, 2015 / 7:37 am

      Yes we ARE! x x

  6. May 1, 2015 / 8:59 am

    A great positive post that i hope is read by many and that you all no longer feel defensive or ashamed. You should all be very proud 🙂

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      May 3, 2015 / 7:37 am

      Ah thank you. x x

    • ghostwritermummy
      Author
      May 3, 2015 / 7:36 am

      Thank you so much for your lovely comment. And it really made my day to meet you yesterday and hear you tell me this too. Thank you x x x

  7. June 6, 2015 / 9:44 pm

    Yes you are, absolutely incredibly amazing. All women who give birth are incredibly amazing but all women who give birth by c-section are especially incredibly amazing because of the unnecessary stugma that is STILL attached to sections; for the battle they have to face each time ‘the birthing stories’ are discussed at playgroups/school gates/play dates… Yes, you’re amazing for writing so candidly, from the heart, a lovely post that makes me (who would have died along with our baby had it not been for the emergency section) – that makes me feel amazing. Thank you x
    Carol Cameleon recently posted..Review: LovefulBeings ~ a Bowtique selling Head wrapsMy Profile

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