A couple of weeks ago I attended the MAD blog awards in London. Thanks to all the lovely people who nominated me, I was up for both best pregnancy blog and outstanding contribution. I think it’s only just sunk in now. So apologies for the late update. I didn’t win. But that’s probably a post for another time.
I need to thank the wonderful Snuz for helping me to buy the most gorgeous dress I’ve ever owned. The type of dress that you put on and know instantly is going to make you feel amazing. And knowing that I was lucky enough to be supported by such a fantastic UK brand was just amazing.
In the almost five years since this blog began, I’ve been so lucky to have worked with so many diverse and innovative brands. And some of those brands are just so special.
Snuz are special because they were there in the early days with Elsie.
We constructed her crib just days before she arrived. It sat downstairs at first, held her tight as she slept away her first week. And then it became my constant companion. By my side. holding Elsie in between breastfeeds. Keeping her little body close to me. Safe. Warm. Snug.
Having had my fourth c-section, the recovery was difficult this time. And the Snuzpod meant that I didn’t need to keep getting out of bed to get her when she needed me. I actually feel great sadness knowing that we no longer need our Snuzpod.
So being at the MADs thanks to Snuz and having Ghostwriterdaddy and Elsie (celebrating her 47 week anniversary!) close by was wonderful.
Not winning either of my categories… I won’t lie- I was disappointed. I’m only human. But I’ve come to appreciate just what it means to have simply been there.
To have made it to the finals in two categories is pretty awesome. To know that what I am typing, here, now, is being read by others is awesome. To know that people cared enough to take the time to vote for me is awesome. And I still cannot believe it is true.
When I began this blog almost five years ago it was for nobody else but me. And still much of what I write is just for me.I needed to be able to sit, and think and express myself. I have always been able to write much better than I can talk, and those who know me know this is true. And writing has always been the thing that calms my soul. It gives me a purpose. It is my passion. I never dreamed I would actually get to do this for a living, but I do. From the lonely, dark depths of needing to write for fear I would disappear, to standing on a stage receiving a trophy in recognition of the last five years.
I am sorry I didn’t win. I am sorry there are no proper photos of me on the night (I blame Spewing Mummy for leading me astray) and I am sorry that it’s taken me so long to realise that I might actually be good at something. This is what I am taking from the MADs 2015. For my children, a new mantra.
You are good enough. You are worthy. You do belong.
Thank you all for reading. Thank you for voting. Thank you for believing. I didn’t win this time, but who knows what the future holds? In the meantime, Elsie’s holding on to this for me.. I still don’t know how I got there but I’m not giving it back.