I’m no stranger to pregnancy; this is the fourth time I’ve done this. But this pregnancy has been so different to the others, proving beyond a doubt that just as all babies are different, all pregnancies are too. Previously, baby’s movements have never been an issue for me. I felt The Big One flutter at 16 weeks, and those flutters soon turned into kicks, rolls, squirms and jabs. We used to watch her move under my skin almost constantly. Her brother was just the same, perhaps moving even more. I remember being in labour with him, and feeling him kick and squirm in between contractions. I felt The Toddler move very early, around 13 weeks at least. And from then she moved regularly, with strong kicks and definite rolls.
I remember each pregnancy for the way that the babies moved. Each was different, in their own ways. Each was special. Each was amazing.
In the early weeks of this pregnancy I was very very sick. By six weeks gestation I was taking medication so that I could keep up the barest of appearances. I hid away and was unable to face going much further than the school run for weeks and weeks. I was miserable. And yet even in the darkest of moments, I clung to that first flutter. The first kick. The first real sign that all was well with this baby. It came much later than I expected, at around 20 weeks and that was as much a surprise as anything. I wasn’t sure why I wasn’t feeling many kicks or squirms….