Was it really eight years ago since I held 6lbs of you in my arms? Has it really been that long in between then and now? As I look at you now I see that baby so clearly.
The baby who found her thumb at two weeks and slept soundly through the night at five weeks old. The baby with the crazy curls on top of her head and the wicked grin spread across her face. The baby who cut her first tooth on the same day that she took her first steps. The baby who turned into the toddler who…
The toddler who said “I lub you” at the train station and took a dive down Nanna’s stairs. The toddler who ran around the health visitor’s office with no clothes on because that was more fun than being weighed. The toddler who had the thumbs cut out of her gloves to feed her habit. The toddler who loved Maisy and Scooby and books and games. The toddler who turned into the girl who…
The girl who started school with excitement in her eyes. The girl who learned to read and do kartwheels and make her own breakfast. The girl who wrote me letters, sang me songs and drew me pictures. The girl who loves a good joke and stopped sucking her thumb and mastered bike riding without stabilisers. The girl who…
The girl who turned me into a mother.
The girl who made me who I am.
The girl who teaches me more than I could ever learn by myself.
Happy Birthday xx
Seven months. To think that the swollen belly containing so much cheeky sweetness and dribbly fun will never be again. To think that weeks of nausea could be replaced by a lifetime of happiness. To think that the baby who squirmed and kicked and writhed inside of me could now be chasing me around the living room commando style.
At seven months, she is developing so rapidly. It’s not just the crawling or the pulling herself up to standing and attempting to cruise. It’s not just the drinking from the cup or the coy ‘Look at me and make a fuss of me!’ looks that she gives to strangers. It’s so much more.
This one is a real live wire. Her personality shines through her brown eyes and into your soul. She is so happy. It radiates from her and glows around her, enveloping you in a cloak of warm joy. Her smile takes you in and make you sing from within. She is feisty and she is affectionate. And she is only seven months old.
I see great things ahead of my baby. I see a lifetime of chances and dreams. I see all that I ever wanted for her.
And I think this what the toddler really thinks, as he flies from the sofa with his magic undercrackers on his head…
But seriously. I have a bit of a Jekyl and Hyde going on here I think. The toddler is two different people. For The Big One, he is everything a little brother should be. He walks into the room where his big sister is quietly reading and he snatches her book, runs away and kicks her as he goes. He pulls her hair. He sits on her head at the dinner table (and with his recent passion for nakedness at the waist down, this is not pleasant). He takes games away and he shouts over the TV. In the car, he is in prime position to annoy. He again pulls hair, scratches and pinches. He takes books away and he leans over into her side too much.
Little brother is SOOOOOOO annoying.
But big brother sometimes makes up for it all.His face lights up when The Baby enters the room. He crouches down to say hello, calls her Pretty Lady and exclaims how cute she is. He snuggles next to her on her playmat and is careful that his flailing legs only lightly skim her face. He strokes her arm, calls her cute and giggles at how tiny she is.
Big brother is adorable.
And so this is how it must be. As Little brother, there is a lot of work to be done- and most of that has to be done by his big sister. As Little brother, he is a superhero.
I’ve been watching you learn to play. I’ve been watching the world turn into a huge playground just for you and the realisation has been sneaking up on you: this world is for you!
I’ve been watching your dreams grow inside you as you try to make limbs move in the ways you want them to. Arms that don’t quite reach and legs that wobble. I’ve been watching your determination and self-belief spreads over your face like a mask. I can hear you tell yourself I can do it I can do it I can do it.
It may only be the last piece of toast on your brother’s plate. It may only be that Princess puzzle piece in the corner of the room. It may only be the smallest but shiniest piece of discarded nothing. But you see it. You want it. You dream of it. And one day you will get it.
Dream big, baby. Because one day those big dreams of impossibility will be right there for you to take. One day those legs will walk and that mind will speak out and make sure it does. Hold your power close to you and reach for that tiny, shiny object. Reach out and take your chances. Don’t leave anything you want to do undone. Don’t leave any book unread or stone unturned. Ask questions, explore, excite. Don’t wait for somebody else to fix the things that are wrong- be that somebody. Never settle for half measures. Remember that YOU have got what it takes to get those dreams that you dream… but remember that it will take everything that you’ve got to get there. You can do it. Be brave. Be strong. Be yourself.
Dream big, baby.