This blog is five years old today. I wish I had a milestone card for that.
Five years ago I sat in my kitchen and realised that something had to change. I’d spent much of the day in tears, re-living The School Boy’s birth. It was ten months on, he was a lovely warm, happy, sleeping baby with eyes so blue and a wide smile… and yet I still could not talk about what happened without some kind of cold dread pulling me down. A couple of months previously I’d been to my GP to ask for help and had been sent away again to ‘think about antidepressants’. I already knew I wasn’t depressed (PTSD is often misdiagnosed after birth) but I knew I needed something. An outlet. A way to work through what I was feeling. A way to re-gather my strength, lest I fall apart completely.
So i started this blog. I forget what was the final push. But here we are.
I wrote my son’s birth story and was amazed that people got in touch to say that it had moved them, they understood, I wasn’t alone….