This blog is five years old today. I wish I had a milestone card for that.
Five years ago I sat in my kitchen and realised that something had to change. I’d spent much of the day in tears, re-living The School Boy’s birth. It was ten months on, he was a lovely warm, happy, sleeping baby with eyes so blue and a wide smile… and yet I still could not talk about what happened without some kind of cold dread pulling me down. A couple of months previously I’d been to my GP to ask for help and had been sent away again to ‘think about antidepressants’. I already knew I wasn’t depressed (PTSD is often misdiagnosed after birth) but I knew I needed something. An outlet. A way to work through what I was feeling. A way to re-gather my strength, lest I fall apart completely.
So i started this blog. I forget what was the final push. But here we are.
I wrote my son’s birth story and was amazed that people got in touch to say that it had moved them, they understood, I wasn’t alone. (more…)
A couple of weeks ago I attended the MAD blog awards in London. Thanks to all the lovely people who nominated me, I was up for both best pregnancy blog and outstanding contribution. I think it’s only just sunk in now. So apologies for the late update. I didn’t win. But that’s probably a post for another time.
I need to thank the wonderful Snuz for helping me to buy the most gorgeous dress I’ve ever owned. The type of dress that you put on and know instantly is going to make you feel amazing. And knowing that I was lucky enough to be supported by such a fantastic UK brand was just amazing.
In the almost five years since this blog began, I’ve been so lucky to have worked with so many diverse and innovative brands. And some of those brands are just so special.
Snuz are special because they were there in the early days with Elsie. (more…)
Time for the 14th Maternity Matters link up! 14th! Wow.
When Jayne and I put our heads together at the beginning of the year we weren’t sure whether people would want to link up with us, but you have. Thank you! We love our little collection of maternity posts and although I may be slow getting around to you all, I do read every single one.
Maternity Matters is just days away from the re-launch! Please follow Jenny (@GreatNorthMum), Chelle (@ChelleMccann) Laura (@Laura_Babykicks) as new members of the Maternity Matters team- and of course don’t forget @MaternityMattrs too! We’re looking for contributors at the moment so if you’d like to write for us please get in touch. Also please tweet me @ghostwritermumm if you’d like to be involved in the pregnancy bloggers roundup I write for Tots100 each month.
And now for the link up. Here’s the badge
And here’s the linky. Please read and share as many as you can!
After luka was plucked from my body in that cold and sterile room, something changed. I wasn’t- i couldn’t be- the same person I was before. I struggled to come to terms with what happened and it took me a long time to bond with him. I have lots of regrets for those early days. The weeks, months and then years in which I never admitted how I was feeling. After being dismissed by my gp, I assumed I was in this alone.
And despite knowing I should’ve got help, I didn’t. And despite promising myself I wouldn’t let it get like that again, it did.
My last pregnancy was not easy. There were some dark days. Days that felt like I was losing the battle to cling on to the edges of my life. Days that felt like screaming silently into a black hole. Days that felt like nobody really truly got me at all. From the horrible, awful sickness to the anguished anxiety of weekly growth scans and doppler scans and CTG monitoring… To the unknown. Would I get my VBAC? Was my baby going to be born early, or will they allow me a little longer with bump? Would my baby need special care when she arrived? Would there be anyone there to hold my hand? (more…)