From the moment my son was placed into my arms, I knew he was going to be different. The rocky beginning we suffered together formed a seal around our relationship and I made promises to him that I intend to keep. I missed the first hour of his life and I cannot ever forgive myself for that; he will always be special simply because he had to fight a little harder to stay with us.
For months I truly thought that he would not be here for long. The screaming silence of the room as his heartbeat dipped into nothing and the terror of the blackness as I was forced to close my eyes and surrender my body… Those things have meant that some moments with my son are appreciated a little bit more. And, of course, his very nature has meant that he and I have clashed over the last five years too.
But now he is special in another way too. One boy amongst three girls. And what does it mean to be that boy?
I hope that it means he will one day be a man who’s isn’t afraid of women. Who can speak to them, form relationships with them and have them as friends. (more…)
baby, birth trauma, c-section, Elsie, friendship, HG, Isobel, IUGR, Luka, Maternity Matters, newborn, parenting, pre-schoolers, pregnancy
This weekend Elsie and I went down to London for the Brit Mums Brilliance in Blogging awards. We were finalists in the INSPIRE category. We didn’t win. But this isn’t really a post about that. Well done to the lovely Hayley at Downs Side Up. She did win! And all of the other winners and finalists- what an achievement and how wonderful it was to be part of the evening.
This is a post about the word, inspire.
Almost five years ago I sat down and wrote my first post on this blog. Words that had been hiding inside me spilled onto the page. A few months later I found myself a finalist in the MAD blog awards, 2011. The category? Inspire.
I don’t know that I do inspire. I write honestly about the things that I have experienced. I hope that my writing is a little like reaching out to hold your hand sometimes. A little like showing you my shoulder and letting you cry there. A little like I am walking down the same path as you, or at least clearing the way for you to make your journey. (more…)
I wanted a water birth first time around.
No pain relief.
Who was I kidding?
I thought baby would come early.
Again, who was I kidding?
I thought it would all go- excuse the pun- swimmingly.
Four children on and I’m aware that nothing goes to plan. Nothing happens the way you intend it and when it comes to birth, that is never more true. That water birth became an induction at 42 weeks, became a baby in distress, became a baby stuck, became an emergency section. And still I made plans.
I wanted a planned section second time around.
My choice of music in the theatre. No emergencies, no drama. No pain. (more…)
baby, birth trauma, c-section, Elsie, HG, IUGR, Luka, Maternity Matters, newborn, parenting, pregnancy
Time for another Maternity Matters!
A few weeks ago I told you about #MatExp, part of the NHS change day. The #MatExp hashtag has gone from strength to strength in the last six months and I am incredibly honoured to be a part of it.
June is the month of ACTION! And this means that all the experiences we’ve been sharing are being taken into consideration as actions begin to take place on our maternity services. We now have a #Matexp Facebook group (open to all professionals and parents with an interest in the maternity services) and one or two other tricks up our sleeves too.
The point of it is simple- we want to take action. We want to make changes. We want to improve and celebrate our maternity services. So please keep on sharing your stories and do please include the #MatExp hashtag- tweet me and also the fab and
And in other exciting news… I made it to the finals of the #Bibs2015! Thank you to all who voted for me, it is much, much appreciated!
Now on with the link up!
Feel free to link as many posts as you like, ones you’ve either read or written that you think should be shared. Grab the badge if you want to
and if you tweet myself or we’ll share your post. If you can, please come back and read some of the other posts that are linked up too.