I Believe in Girl Power

I grew up in a busy house. Five girls, all close in age, all clamouring for their space in the world. My mum was the main earner in our house, and after my youngest sister was born my stepdad stayed at home to look after her once maternity leave was up. Back then, maternity leave was 12 weeks, so my mum used to come home in her lunch break (she was a primary school teacher) to breastfeed. And she would feed her through the night too, since nobody else was able to take on that job for her. She worked hard, and at the same time she showed us girls something really special. She showed us that no matter what happened in life, all we needed to do was to work hard at our dreams, and we could literally do anything.

Today, I am a mother to three girls.

I believe in girl power_Ghostwritermummy.co.uk (more…)

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And the world came tumbling down

I don’t dream about his birth any more. I dream instead about the feelings his birth have left me with. In my dreams I am scared and I am anxious. In my dreams I am angry and I am frustrated. In my dreams, I am alone.

Almost seven years ago he was ripped from my body and the world came tumbling down.

And the world came tumbling down_ghostwritermummy.co.ukNothing was the same any more. Nothing made sense. Nothing was carefree. Instead, everything changed. Everything was wrong. Everything was hard. (more…)

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I Have a Voice

On Saturday I’ll be attending the Women’s Voices Conference in London, to share my story with other mothers, doctors, midwives and campaigners. I’ll be standing up with pride and with determination. Because I have a voice. And you have a voice. And we need to start using those voices. We need to be heard.

Luka's birth story~ Ghostwritermummy.co.ukIn just three weeks, I will have been a mother for twelve years. Twelve years! I cannot believe it has been that long since my first born baby girl was placed into my arms and my world was given a huge shake from within. In those twelve years I have seen a lot. I have learned a lot. And I have gained so much. If I was to tell you what I have brought away from the last twelve years it is this.

Strength

Resilience

Determination (more…)

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Grandparents Have all the Fun

These days there seems to be a national day for everything and everyone, but National Grandparents day is actually one that I don’t mind. For us, grandparents are an essential part of the kids’ lives and we’ve aways tried to make sure that they are as involved as possible. We want to nurture the relationships between them and all the kids, and to celebrate the special bonds they have. Since my eldest was born, I’ve really felt the strain of having my parents live so far away, so I’ve been even more determined to make sure they are a huge part of our lives. And in doing this, I realised that grandparents have all the fun!

Grandparents have all the fun_Ghostwritermummy.co.ukWhile we are bound to rules, regulations and early bedtimes, the grandparents are not. Living far away means that when they see the kids, its for a whole weekend, or for a few days in the holidays- which means that all of our carefully crafted routines go out of the window! My mum even has a special sweet jar that the kids know to root out as soon as they arrive. They know it will have been filled with all the goodies they love (including dairy free treats for Elsie) and they know that cookies at bedtime is literally a golden rule for the duration of their stay. To be honest, I don’t mind too much. I want the kids to have happy memories of their stays at their grandparents; I want them to remember these days filled with laughter, love and happiness. And that is how they are. How perfect is that?

Its hard living so far away from my parents. Sometimes I wish they could call round to walk down to school with me at 3.15 on a Wednesday afternoon. Sometimes I wish they could pop in for a brew on the way to the supermarket. Sometimes I wish that when something goes wrong, I could call and they’d be able to drop what they’re doing to scoot round with a hug and a solution. We all need our mums now and then, after all. Sadly, none of these things are possible for me, but I do know how lucky I am to have my parents at the end of a phone whenever I need them.

It’s hard living so far away from my parents when I know that they miss the kids like mad. I know they’d love to be able to take them to the park after school, or help with football training and swimming lesson drop offs. They miss the nativities and the school plays and the excited faces on Christmas Eve. They miss all of that, and its hard.

And this is why I am more than ok with the grandparents having all the fun. Spoiling the kids. Letting them stay up late, eat ice cream, watch too many cartoons. I am more than ok because they can’t do the things that other grandparents can do. What do grandparents mean to you?

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