It’s a phrase heard by so many women and families, and one that many of us are now keenly aware of, trained to avoid and to challenge at all costs. A simple, well-meaning phrase that can shatter, destroy, devastate. Think I’m being over dramatic? I’m not. Telling a new mum that the horrendous, life changing experience she has encountered is ‘just one of those things’ can be hugely damaging. Telling her that her feelings are not valid, she’s not entitled to feel that way and she needs to focus on the positive can be huge damaging. Telling her all that matters is a healthy baby can be hugely damaging. Because the thing is that is all matters. All of it. Every word spoken, every note written, every slight glance given. This is her experience, her moment and her once in a lifetime pregnancy. It’s not just another day. It’s not a little blip in the road towards a positive outcome. It’s not all that matters….
If someone talked to you
The way that you do to you
I’d put their teeth through
Without exception, when I hear these lyrics (Idles, Television) I am reminded of me. The way that I talk to me. The way that I view my body, it’s failures and its shortcomings. The fact that I don’t look quite how I’d like to when I wear skinny jeans. My hair has this weird in between thing where it’s not straight but it’s not curly and it requires attention every single day. My eyes are too small, my legs are too fat and my hips are too wide. I can’t run fast, I can’t dance and I have never been able to do a cartwheel. But if someone was to take all of those things about you, or about someone else I cared about and list them like this I would be furious! LOVE YOURSELF! Take those ‘flaws’ and either accept them as part of who you are or get out there and change them.
Do something. Care enough about yourself to do something. The way that you talk to you matters….
I am many things. Mum, wife, sister, friend, colleague, random lady in the gym… many things to others, but only one to me. I am me. And in the 41 years that I’ve been on this planet, there is only one time that I can recall ever being totally 100% confident in who that ‘me’ is. I was two. Two. I was climbing the mountainous stairs at the home where I lived at the time, and I remember looking up and feeling like those stairs would go on forever, that to reach the top would be the biggest achievement of my life. And someone- I don’t recall who- asked me, ‘How old are you?’. I replied with such gusto, such self importance and such confidence: ‘I’m TWO!’ To be that sure of myself, that proud… I mean, on a literal level of course I know how old I am now. Old.
But on a whole other level, I envy this two year old me who was so happy in her skin, so self assured and so determined. These are all attributes you could apply to me now, from time to time, and there are indeed days where I feel like that feisty toddler climbing those huge stairs again… but there are also times when I definitely don’t. I am many things, but I am not always that confident in my ability to be ‘me’….
It’s been almost two since we converted our garage into an extra, much needed, room. The idea was to create an office for us both to work from home in, but its quickly become so much more than that. And by that I mean- its now filled with two sofas, an x-box, a TV and LOADS of toys! Oh, and my desk. The problem is that once you renovate a part of the house like this, the rest of your home starts to look a little tired. We bought this house ten years ago after it had been renovated from top to bottom, so now its in desperate need of a little updating and TLC. We realised the other day that we’ve now had our ‘new’ kitchen for seven years! Time for an update? The thought fills me with dread! I decided to source some tips and snippets of advice on how to maintain sanity during a house renovation- maybe it will happen in 2019?
If you’re looking for tips on how to organise finances, choose the best contractors and get the best deals on equipment etc… this isn’t the post for you. If you are, however, looking to stay on top of four kids, a 3-legged cat and a kitten while you renovate, then read on!…